Day 31 Post 28 Things I Can or Can't Change

 Yesterday I posted about what I would like to be different. Those were pie in the sky dreams. Today I want to look at things a little more realistically. What I want to change and what I can realistically change.

Starting with my house. - I am 3 years from having it paid off.  I am a minimum of 2 years from retirement. I am not going to be getting a bigger house. Much less one with all of the space, bells and whistles I want. What I can do is start getting realistic about my possessions. This house is overdue for a good purging. When you have rooms that you can't use because of the stuff piled up in it, it's time to dejunk. Now I am capable of doing this as are my kids. but getting my husband on board is a different story.  But it definitely needs done.

My studio - a good deal of this issue would go away if I could just get in the habit of putting things away. That and actually finishing projects. I have 3 quilts that just need quilted and bound. I have two more that in need of borders before I can quilt them. I don't have space for a design wall but I am looking at making a folding one. I do need to find places for some of my equipment but I think I will be taking over part of the dining room for that. I also need to stop buying stuff just to have it. I am working on not buying fabric without a project in mind for it. I am also going to try to shop from my stash first. I am also going to limit my vintage machine purchases at least until I start getting the ones I have restored.

Time -  I need to work. I am not in a financial position to not work. What I can do is try to keep my hours to 40 a week. That is easier said than done sometimes. But I need to learn to delegate more.

Quilt Shop - I am afraid that this is really a pie in the sky dream. But I can work on improving my quilting skills and maybe someday teach classes. Or Quilt for others. Kim and I are also thinking of doing a booth at the little festivals around the area.

Education/Training - I would take classes everyday/all day if I could. Trouble is classes cost money and take time. I am limited on both. I can start learning from YouTube videos. There is a lot out there for free. There are also continuing education classes in the area that are cheaper than college classes.

New Computers - Well this will have to happen eventually. But not right now. I can save up for one and wait until it is a real need and not a want.

Family time - part of this goes back to limiting time at work. The other part is planning and taking vacations without going into debt.

Traveling - the real truth is I want to travel but I don't want to spend the money to do it. If I am going to spend a lot of money I'd like it to be to visit family. Still I am hoping that my husband and I do one trip elsewhere before we aren't able to. Once we retire I hope we can make time for some road trips to see family. Quilt shop hops are probably out because we can't walk into a quilt shop without dropping lots of money. My husband is worse than I am about fabric.

Money - Getting out of debt will not be easy and it will have to be a joint effort with my husband. But it is doable. We just need to develop the plan and stick to it.

Blogging/vlogging - The biggest issue is doing it. Sometimes I just don't have anything new to write. Sometimes I am struggling to sit down and do it. I am hoping to put myself on schedule and then slowly increase the frequency. I also want to vlog but I need some better equipment and a space before I start doing that.

What I can and can't change is one thing. What I am willing to commit to changing is another story.  And one for tomorrow.

 

Day 30 Post 27 - What I'd Like to Be Different

 This is an interesting topic because it isn't about what I want to change or could change. It is about what I would like to be different. This could include pie in the sky dreams. What would I like to be different, Hmmm.

My house - I want a larger house because I am beginning to drown in my own possessions. Mostly I want storage space, We do so many things that require equipment, like canning and processing our own meat. I need places to store that. We also have a few little collections that we don't have anyplace to display. I need a library with one wall being windows and a fireplace and the other 3 walls having floor to ceiling bookshelves with the ladder thing going around the walls. 

Studio - I want a bigger studio, one that has 2 long arms, a cutting space, a design wall, a commercial embroidery machine, space for my vintage sewing machine collection as well as my regular machines. It needs to have a work space for my other hobbies and my computer. Most importantly it needs to have storage for all of my fabric and crafting supplies. Not to mention bookshelves, display shelves and room for pictures. It also need to have a place for the kids and grandkids to craft.

Time - I want more time to do the things I want to do. I would like to not have to go to work everyday. I love my job but I would rather stay home and craft/quilt. It's not that I don't want to work, I've discovered that I do better when I do work. I just want my work to be my hobbies. You know, make money crafting.  

Quilt shop - I really really really want a quilt shop. I have a location picked out in Thomasville. I have a plan for doing long arm quilting for others, quilting classes, sit and sew sessions, etc. I would love for it to be a gathering place for quilters. I would also like to be able to go to Quilt Market.

Education/Training - I want to take classes. I need to learn to use my long arm better. I want to learn how to repair/restore my sewing machines. I also would love to take some advance sewing classes. Especially a flat pattern class. I want to learn how to do digital photography. I want to learn how to make and edit videos. I want to learn how to use social media to promote my business, once I get it going. I want to be more computer savvy.

Speaking of computers - I want a newer better better more powerful computer. Also a new more powerful tablet for my long arm.

Family time - I would like more time with my family especially with the grandkids. I want to spend time with my grandkids that live far away. I want the freedom and money to travel and make memories with all of my grandkids.

Traveling - I would like to visit different countries and cultures. I'd like to see where fabrics are made. Especially Batiks. I'd like to do a quilt shop hop that goes across the country even if I have to create it myself. I'd like to go to different quilt shows. I'd like to go to to rock shows with my husband. I'd like to go rock hounding with my husband. 

Money - I would like to be out of debt. I would like to have enough money in savings that I feel secure in retirement. I would like to have the discipline to live on a budget.

Blogging/vlogging/podcasts -  I want to start doing these on a regular basis and developing a following. Not that I have any great talent or am the best quilter. But I have learned things along the way.

Well, that is enough for now. I could probably come up with a lot more, but I am just not that unhappy with my life, and that would be ungrateful.

Next post - what I can and can't change.

Day 29 Post 26 - What I like About My Life

 I think that before making any changes, one should evaluate what they really want to change. I think I will start with what I don't want to change. Basically the things I like about myself and my life.

My family is pretty darn great. My kids have grown into good people. While I have 2 adult children at home, they are hard working contributing members of the house hold.  Yes I would like them to find spouses and start their own lives but that is up to them not me. And frankly I don't care if they move out when they get married. Having them here allows us to do so much more. Their support makes it possible for us to put up food, raise animals, grow gardens and orchards, etc. So I am happy with that situation.

My marriage is happy and stable. My husband is the best partner that I could have. Because he is a partner. We are a team. We are a blended family and our kids knew that our spouse came first. Don't get me wrong the kids needs were met and they were loved and cared for. But there was never going to the opportunity to drive wedges between us. There were times when the kids tried but it never worked.

My job is another area that I am happy in. I have a boss I really like. A role that is challenging and important. Working for a company that has good values and for the most part cares about it's employees.

My faith. I am fortunate to know where I come from and where I am going. I have a Heavenly Father who knows me personally and loves me unconditionally. He gives me trials to help me grow and chastises me when I have done wrong. He comforts me and guides me on my journey here in mortality. He has given me a prophet and other leaders to help me on this journey. One of the greatest things he has taught me is that I am entitled to my own revelation and I can have the answers I seek if I am willing to search them out.

I like my hobbies. I love that I have been given the gift of creating. I have a gift for putting together colors and patterns and using my hands. I have learned many skills along the way.  My current love if quilting keeps me happy on a daily basis. I would not give up any of my creative hobbies.

I like that I have a logical mind but an empathetic heart. I am grateful for the ability to learn to love someone for who they are and accept them as they are. I am grateful that I am not easily offended and have learned to not take offense. Let's face it no one can offend you if you don't let them.

I am grateful that I have a gift for teaching. My son once told me that the happiest he's ever seen me is when I am teaching someone to do something I love. I have no qualms about getting up and giving a lesson or a talk. It is something that I have always just been able to do.

I like the fact that I can learn to do anything I want to. That was a gift my parents gave to me, the knowledge that if you really want to learn something you can.

There is a quote I read years ago that talked about the three essentials to happiness. The first one is something to do. I have a job and hobbies that keep me busy. The second is someone to love. I have a wonderful family full of children and grand children, brothers and sisters, and I have wonderful friends all of whom I love. The third is something to look forward to. This one is not anything grand for me. I look forward to sitting and sewing. I look forward to seeing my grandchildren. I look forward to visits with my children and friends. I am rather looking forward to retirement even if it's 7 years off.

I think the biggest key to all of these essentials is to find the joy in the little things. For example finding joy in putting up food or butchering your own meat. Going to work and making a difference even if it's only making sure the product is right. Loving family and friends and being there for them if it's only reading the grand kids a book. Looking forward to visits and time together instead of big vacations.

I am pretty lucky in my life and I am fortunate enough to know it.

Day 28 Post 25 - Approaching the New Year.

So the new year is coming up and with it come then inevitable resolutions. I am not big on resolutions because they don't generally last. I kind of feel that resolutions are more like wishes fo what we would like to see changed in lives. Whereas a resolution should be having the resolve to make changes in ourselves.

A common phrase we hear this time of year is "New Year, New Me". What is so wrong with the old you. I am quite happy with who I am.  That's not to say I don't have room for improvement, I definitely do. But I worked hard to become who I am and I don't see a need to totally transform myself into something else just because there is a new year.

So going into the New Year, I decided to reflect on what I am happy with in my life, what I wish were different, what is working and what isn't, what I can and can't control/change and most importantly what I am willing or committed to changing.

Then and only then will I set my goals for the New Year. They will be SMART goals. That is to mean they will be: S-specific, M-measurable, A-achievable, R-relevant, T-timebound. I will also delve into ways to accomplish more in my life. That means looking at what I am doing that is getting in the way of me accomplishing my goals, then trying to minimize or eliminate those practices.

The next few days are going to be busy with some serious introspection. But I think I know my blog post topics for the next few days.

                                 

Day 27 Post 24 - Venturing Out into the Cold

This morning it is cold. It's only about 29* out there. I know that isn't all that cold. But still, I am not looking forward to venturing out in the cold. But I have my new fleecy thermals on and I have my coat. Plus the car heats up pretty fast. So I should only be cold for a little while. Hopefully the roasters start up easily this morning and the plant will at least have lost the chill of the past 4 days.

The first several years that I worked at this plant they didn't have any heat other than the roasters. Which is fine if you work on the production floor.  But if you worked in the offices off the plant floor, you froze. I used to have a space heater right next to me while I worked and I wasn't the only one. It generally isn't that cold down here is southern Georgia. There usually are only a couple of cold weeks a year. In the 14 years I have lived here, it has never been this cold. 

Don't get me wrong, I am no stranger to cold weather.  And I have lived in much colder climates where the cold weather lasts much longer. I am grateful that I know how to dress and behave in such weather. I dress in layers and will heat the car up before departing. I just don't know where my gloves and hats are. Wrong time of day to be looking for them. Oh well, I will be okay.

On the bright side it should be warmer for New Years.

Day 26 Post 23 - Post Holiday Doings

 Well here it is the day after Christmas and I am not ready to go back to work tomorrow. While our holiday was low key, it was still hectic. We have been juicing citrus, slicing and drying citrus, and casing up the last of the sausage all while trying to get ready for the celebrations. I hate trying to cook in a cluttered kitchen. But we made it through.

Kim is off this week and is hoping to go hog hunting on Wednesday. We still have a deer to cut up as well. We will need to organize the freezers before then. We will be culling out some of the older meat and sharing our abundance with friends and family. That or grind it and make more jerky. We're probably going to have to can some of the newer meat as well.  We are so blessed right now.

I am hoping to be able to keep my working hours to 8 per day this week. There is so much to do to get the house back into shape. Plus my little grandson is having surgery to get tubes in his ears this week. 

I am looking forward to spending New Years Eve and Day with my kids. On New Years Eve we will have our traditional nosh; dips, charcuterie board, etc. Plus sparkling juice to toast in the new year. We will do the traditional southern New Years dinner on New Years day. It consists of black eyed peas, greens, pork of some kind, and corn bread.

In the meantime there is the usual laundry and cleaning that needs done. Plus finding a place for all of the Christmas gifts we received. I need to get my studio back in shape as well as the dining room and kitchen. So much to do, so little time. 

Even more importantly, so little energy. Georgia is unseasonably cold right now. This cold weather has me wanting to curl up in bead and go to sleep. I just hope that we reap the benefit of the cold weather come spring and summer. Stone fruit such as cherries, peaches, plums and apricots need a certain amount of chill hours to produce. Lately we haven't been getting enough chill hours.  And of course we have all of those trees in our little orchard. So here's hoping to a good crop this year. Even if it means lots of canning.

I hope you are as blessed in the coming year as we have been.

Day 23 Post 22 - State of Calm

 Today, I took my friend out for coffee. We were talking about the various situations in out lives and I made the comment that I just wasn't stressed. I said, I'm just simply happy. She said that she could tell and was really happy for me. 

Then as if to test the accuracy of my stress free claim, I got a flat tire on the rental car I was driving. I should mention that I really hated this rental car and was not looking forward to driving it for another 2 weeks.

I called the rental agency and they set up road side assistance. I was given an estimated arrival time of 89 minutes. I reasoned that it was a holiday weekend and well the temperatures were rather cold for South Georgia causing a delay. But after 90 minutes, there was no sign of the help. I called the roadside assistance number to see what the hold up was. Keep in mind I've been waiting for over and hour and a half in 35 degree temps. When I asked where the assistance was, they told me they don't have a driver available right now and they can't even give me time when I can expect help.

My friend and I decided we are capable grown women who can change a tire. So out we went about doing just that. We got the spare and jack out. Then we discovered that we couldn't budge the lug nuts. It occured to me that the lug nuts were the locking type. So I start digging in the car for the tool to unlock them. There wasn't one. 

So I called the rental agency back. I was calm and polite. I made it clear that leaving me on the side of the road for hours when their nearest branch was 2 blocks away was not acceptable. I would gladly put the spare on myself if the needed tool was in the car. I was told that my complaint was being forwarded to the district manager and that they would get on the roadside assistance provider to get to me. After being on hold for about 10 minutes, they tell me my complaint was forwarded to the district manager but there was nothing they could do about getting me roadside assistance any sooner. I told them I was going to go the branch and give them my key and get another vehicle and they could collect the car from it's current location. The agent told me they could change the flat tire service to a tow but that I wouldn't be able to get another vehicle until they had the car back in their possession. I still remained polite but I was firm in my displeasure. Truthfully if anyone had a right to be a little rude or testy, I did. 

My friend kept telling me I was being too calm. She said that she would have jumped all over them by now. (she is the one who is struggling right now) I said that getting ugly to these agents wasn't going to help anything.

My friend's mother (who is 76 years old and didn't need to be out in the cold) drove me to the rental agency and was going to drive me the 45 minutes home if need be. I walked into the branch office of the rental agency and told them what was going on. They took my key and put me in a better vehicle and sent me on my way. The agent at the branch office was pleasant and apologetic. He took the roadside assistance fee off the vehicle and gave me a free upgrade. He had been expecting me to come in 2 hours earlier and was mortified that I was on the side of the road for over 2 and half hours.

I was able to remain pleasant and calm through the whole thing. I didn't have to get nasty or rude and I got what I wanted in the end. The thing is getting upset and yelling or cussing wasn't going to solve anything. It wasn't going to make me feel any better once I calmed down. And other than not getting everything done that I wanted too, I was none the worse for wear.

I am actually really surprised at just how calm I was. I am grateful that little things are not getting to me like they used to. Part the reason for this is I am doing all I can and leaving the rest to the Lord.  Part of it is keeping an eye on what truly matters. Part is just keeping the big picture in focus.

It was a good test of my stress free claim.

Day 21 Post 21 - Leading Up to the Holiday.

 Today was a day of changes at work. Lots of new policies to implement and train on. Lots of things to work out.  Plus lots of things to take care.

We are trying to get everything set for the Holiday shut down. 4 days without production means we have to be up and running right up until the shut down and not have any bad product. 

As for Holiday preparations on the home front, I am still lacking 2 presents each for 2 people. But I have no clue what to get them. But I will find something. After work I did pick up some christmas things so I've made a start on most things. 

Interestingly, I am not stressed about having things done. I am really quite relaxed and calm. So for me the Holidays are going to be pleasant.

Hope your holidays are stress free.

Amy

Day 20 Post 20 - Dr. Appointment

 Today I went to the pulmonologist for my regular check up. I saw the PA instead of the doctor but I see about half the time anyway. She asked how it was going. I talked about the upper respiratory infection and how it was ligering a bit but I was feeling much better. She was frustrated that they gave me antibiotics and not steroids. She told me that any kind of breathing issue should be treated with steroids since I am asthmatic. She also said that any kind of respiratory issue will trigger the asthma so I will really do need the steroids. (Not a pleasant thought for me.) I told her that for two weeks I used the nebulizer morning and night. She said that was the right thing to do.  She said my lungs are clear but my O2 level was a little low. She thinks it's probably due to the weather change. She reminded me to not hesitate to use the inhaler or nebulizer if I start coughing a lot or wheezing. She also said don't wait until it gets bad. She even said if I am having respiratory issues don't hesitate to come to them instead of the my GP.

So my lungs are good for now.  She asked how it was at work. I told her about the measures that have been taken to reduce some of the irritants. I also mentioned that the corporate safety person is very interested in getting the environment controlled because while I know my triggers, others might not and the company needs to be sure that everyone is safe.

My C-PAP usage came up and she said I was doing great. I mentioned the couple of times that I hadn't used it and why. She said that I should be fine with the insurance company because of the hours I use it each night. She also brought up my weight loss. She pointed out that I have loss over a 100# since I started coming to them. She is very proud of me. 

I got my flu shot and my second prevnar 13 vaccine and was out of there in record time. So I all in all a good visit. 

Day 19 Post 19 - Off Schedule

 This morning I had to take my husband to the airport. He is flight left at 6:00am and the airport is an hour away. Since he was flying out of Tallahassee, and it's just not that big of an airport, getting there about an hour and a half before hand works. So we were up before 3:00am. To be fair we were in bed by 8:00pm and we were tired from our busy weekend so we did fall asleep. But this has me off my regular schedule.

Normally when I have to take him to the airport that early, I just go on in to work. There is always something I can do especially on a Monday. Usually when I go in early I would just leave early. Today, however, I need to take my car into the body shop for repair so I came home and packed lunches etc. 

A problem with the weird hours and being off my normal routine is that I forget to do things. I started to leave without my phone today. In the past I have left without my glasses (which I only really need to read). I have even left without my wallet and work badge.

The other issue with being off schedule is that I am not as young as I used to be. Long hours take their toll on me and sometimes on my health. There was a time I could work double shifts all week long and bounce right back. That's not the case anymore. For example, after two very busy weeks at work and the extremely busy Thanksgiving week, I got sick. I spent 2 days in bed and the third day I worked from home. It has been 3 weeks and I am still not quite over it. 

I am much better and probably would have been completely over it if I had asked for the steroids. But for me, steroids are a neccesary evil only to be used as a last effort. I mean if they will keep me out of the hospital than sure I'll take them. But just to speed the healing, well, I have to be feeling pretty awful to take them. Steroids make it impossible for me to sleep and I am either freezing or roasting (sometimes at the same time) when I am on them. Plus they make me ravenous and I eat everything in sight. So I avoid them if at all possible.

So weird schedules and long hours are not my friend. Maybe this is god's way of forcing me to find a work/life balance. Or at the very least telling me to slow down. Either way, I need to figure it out for my own good.

Day18 Post 18 - Time With the Grands

 I have 16 grandchildren and another one is on the way.  Unfortunately, only 4 of them live close by, but at least I get to do things with them. Yesterday, Kim took the older two to get a tree. It took them all afternoon but we got a nice tree. They helped clean up and get ready to put the tree up. Emerson, who is 5, dragged that tree into the house because we weren't moving fast enough.  The tree is proudly sitting in the stand. Emerson also made sure the chickens were fed and gathered eggs.

Today they came back over and helped frost the Christmas cookies. Emerson once again went out and took care of the chickens and even helped with the other animals. He really wanted to decorate the tree but we were busy grinding meat and making sausage, and decorating the cookies. So I promised him that they could came back tomorrow evening and decorate the tree. 

Tatianna packed up her share of the cookies and grabbed some venison out of the freezers before she and Zach left. They will be back for New Years. She left us her dehydrator so we could finish the jerky. We will be processing another deer this coming weekend so having it for a couple of weeks will come in handy.

We got a lot accomplished and having the kids and grandkids here just made it better. I can say it was a really pleasant weekend for all of us. Too bad it has ended so quickly. Back to work tomorrow for every one in the household. Kim is leaving for 4 days but will be back for the holiday weekend. I still need to finish Christmas shopping. I mean Christmas errands of love.

Day 18 Post 17 - Christmas Baking

 It's 5:00am on a Sunday morning and I can't sleep. It occured to me that I had missed posting yesterday and since the house is quiet, I decided to get one done this morning.

I managed to sleep in a little yesterday. But Tatianna was here and cookies needed baked. Zach and Kim went hunting. Killian went shopping. Perigrine focused on cleaning, finishing the jerky and getting the space for the tree ready. Tatianna and I baked. We baked all day. Currently the aroma of anise is filling the house as the Springle cookies set. It is so much more fun to bake with my daughters. 

Tatianna brought most of the dough so we just had to roll/form and bake. First Tatianna baked the snowball cookies while I ran errands and paid bills. Then we managed to get the cut out cookies baked with some help from the grand kids. Then we did the gingerbread cookies. Finally I mixed up a batch of Springle and got them setting. It was a productive day.

This afternoon we will frost and decorate the cut out cookies and gingerbread. Bake the springle and maybe mix up and bake another cookie or two. I would mix up the frosting now if it wouldn't wake up the whole house. 

I also need to clean out my car. And we still need to make the venison sausage. But first there is church. Somewhere in there though I need to feed everyone. Last night it was Pizza because I was so involved in baking. It's going to be another busy day.

Do you ever get so wrapped up in a project that you forget to do the daily stuff? I do especially when I am working with my family.

Day 16 Post 16 - Preparedness = Knowledge

 In my faith, we are taught to be prepared. We are taught to have a savings, a stock of food and clothes, and to gain "skills that will stand us in good stead".  It is interesting to me what different people consider "skills that will stand you in good stead"

For me, growing up, those skills included gardening, sewing, cooking, canning fruits and vegetables, simple home repairs and the importance of education. For my husband, growing up, it included gardening/farming, canning all sorts of food, hunting, fishing, raising livestock, butchering said livestock, doing car repairs and house repairs.

The difference between us is where we grew up. I grew up in the city and he grew up on a farm.  The needs of the two lifestyles were different. My parents, who were born in the 1920's and raised by white collar workers, were both college educated. His parents were raised by farmers. His mother was mostly a homemaker who worked occasionally outside the home. His father, who was gifted with the ability to understand and work on machines, worked in factories.  I went to college and became a teacher. My husband went to a trade school and was a journeyman HVAC technician when we met. He has since gotten a master degree in Engineering.

Since marrying my husband, I have learned about butchering, hunting and fishing. He has learned about the importance of education.  Together we have raised our children to do all that we both learned. Not that it was easy. I have a daughter who insisted that she didn't need to know how to sew. Yet she called me and thanked me for teaching her. Two other daughters have taken what we taught them and added onto it. We have a son who while living in an apartment, had tomato plants on the balcony. Another son and his wife are raising their children to can food and raise livestock. 

I think the best way to be prepared is to gain knowledge and skills. My husband likes to say "You can always not use what you know. But you can never use what you don't know." So for us being prepared is to learn as much as we can and use it whenever possible. We have raised our children to understand that skills and the goods created by your hands can be bartered. Barter goods and services are going to necessary if we hit a depression. I firmly believe that all of my children will survive regardless of the economic status of the world. 

That to me is the ultimate preparedness.

Day 15 Post 15 - Caring and Concern

 Well this post officially gets me caught up. Still It won't have been 21 days straight so I will have to keep posting every day until the end of the month at least. I will probably need to go into January if I want to make this a habit. The goal is to get in the habit of writing everyday.

Tonight I am thinking about a friend who is struggling. She is an amazing strong woman who has been through a lot. How do you help someone who is struggling in every way possible. I am not in a position to help financially, I can only pray and counsel to help spiritually. I can listen to help emotionally. I can suggest she seek medical help. But none of that seems to be enough. 

I spent a little time with her this afternoon. We mostly held onto each other. I listened to her. She listened to me. We talked about the issues. We talked about other things. We were just there for each other.  When she sent me on my way, she did say she felt better. I hope I can find more ways to serve her that will lift her spirits.

It is sad to me that she is so down when Christmas is her favorite time of year. I need to find a way to help her enjoy it. Despite all that is going wrong. On a bright note. she received an unexpected but needed blessing while I was there. I told her that it was an affirmation that the Lord is hearing her and he is there for her.

I hope she sees it that way. I hope this helps her to feel Heavenly Father's love for her. My prayers tonight will be for her and for guidance in how to help her. I know I will find some answers.

Day 15 Post 14 - Eating Only When Hungry (not always the right thing)

A couple of time this week my kids made me eat.  I was so tired on numerous evenings that I wasn't hungry. Plus nothing really appealed to me. I try to only eat when hungry but sometimes I fail to recognize I am hungry.  I get busy or focused and forget to eat. Being diabetic that can become an issue.  I've only had my blood sugar crash a few times in the 5 years since I've been diagnosed. Let me tell you, it is not a pleasant experience. You all of a sudden get shaky, sweaty, and weak.  Plus it is not as simple as eating some sugar to recover. It is a lasting symptom that really takes about 24 hours to fully recover.

So when my son got irritated with me for not eating the other night, it was with good reason. He and my daughter will grill me on what I have eaten that day and when did I last eat. They are nagging me so that I don't let my blood sugar crash. I am lucky to have such good and loving adult children. 

What my kids don't realize that as I am losing weight, I am not as hungry as I used to be. Actually there are times that I fail to realize that my portions need to be much smaller. I have lost over 80 pounds and a result of that is eating less whether I want to or not.  Plus my eating habits have changed a bit. I snack less and don't eat much in the way of sweets. I also tend go longer between eating. Instead of eating every couple of hours, I tend to go 6 hours between meals. 

The biggest thing I have learned is that keeping my blood sugar steady makes it easier to lose weight and keeps my energy level more even. I like not having bursts and crashes. So eating regularly is for the best. 

Day 14 Post 13 - Christmas Errands of Love

 I was listening to the 2020 Christmas Devotional this morning. In his message titled Divine Gifts , President Nelson referred to Christmas preparations as Errands of love.  I suspect he was talking about Christmas shopping. That statement struck me, Christmas Errands of Love.  I felt that is was probably the best description of how Christmas shopping should be. An Errand of love for those you love.

Perhaps if we have the right attitude, then shopping for gifts could become Errands of Love.  That means giving with love. Not worrying about how much was spent (Stay within your Budget) Not competing for who gives the best gift. Just giving what you can afford and giving it with love.  

This season is about love. If we approach our preparations with love then just maybe we won't stress out. I am going to try and view all of our traditions as Traditions of Love. Gifts will be Gifts of Love. Shopping will be Errands of Love. Baking will be Baking with Love (even though it already is). Everything will be done and planned with Love.

Let the Celebration of Christmas Love begin.

Day 14 Post 12 - Finding My Christmas Spirit

 Time has flown by and I am finding it hard to believe that Christmas is just 11 days away.  I am in no way ready for it. We haven't even begun to decorate the house. We haven't begun our Christmas baking. We are just not recognizing the passing of the days.

When did life become so busy that I stopped enjoying the season that I love so much.  I have no clue what to get my children and grand children. Some of those gifts I have to mail. Well I do have one daughter done but not one of the ones I need to mail.

I have been listening to Christmas music since Thanksgiving. I am currently listening to past Christmas Devotionals and yet I feel no sense of urgency to the upcoming holiday. 

Maybe that is the point. I am simply enjoying the things about the Holiday that I love while I can.  I am not getting caught up in trying to do more than I can do. We have deer to process before baking can commence. We need to build shelves before I can decorate. Work has us all working long hours.  We will get ready for the holiday but when we can and not in a hurried rush and flurry of activities that leave us stressed and unhappy. 

Learning to accept that we have limitations and accepting those limitations is part of living a healthy life. 

Day 13 Post 11 - Getting into the Right Frame of Mind

 Lately I have been taking my time getting out of the car when I get to work.  Sometimes it's to finish the podcast I am listening too. Sometimes it's to take a minute to look at the what I am having to face. Here lately it's to pray. I have found that a little prayer asking for guidance through out the day makes for a better day.

What I am asking for is not so much for me but for those around me. For example, today I didn't ask for patience, I asked for guidance to interact with those around me in a manner that is pleasing to the Lord. I asked for help Listening and not just hearing. I asked for help in dealing with problems without reacting to them.

Today, there was a complaint about a product. I looked up the information about the product and came to the realization as to why that problem occured. I also found out that it wasn't our fault. I responded without reacting. 

I was able to carry on a conversation with someone who has been rather upset with me. A co-worker who felt that I should have hired her into my department. I couldn't because of her negative behavior.  She was hurt and felt betrayed. I was prompted to speak with her and found out she will be having surgery next week and was concerned. We were able to talk and I was able to comfort her. I interacted with her in a way I believe was pleasing to the Lord.

Today I was able to listen to a peer who was frustrated with another peer. I was a sounding board and that peer was able to let go of the issue. I listened and didn't just hear.

By getting into the right frame of mind, not only did my day go well but other's had a better day too. I will try to get in the right frame of mind each day.  We all need a little peace in this hectic world and being in the right frame of mind goes a long way to achieving Peace

Day 13 Post 10 - Not Quite Recovered

 This morning, I turned off my alarm, rolled onto my back and promptly fell back asleep. I over slept for an hour but awoke with out prompting and felt so much better. I am reminded that sleep is a vital part of health. 

Last year I was diagnosed with moderate sleep apnea. 8 months after the diagnosis I finally got my c-pap machine. It was a battle from the start. My sleep wasn't any better in fact I felt it was worse. I was frustrated but kept trying. I was convinced they had the pressure too high. The doctor was not and sent me for another fitting. The other option was another titration study. the last one was a joke as well. The mask they used during the titration study didn't fit and they kept coming in and making adjustments. the worse part was it cost $1000.00 after insurance.  Add to that I had lost 50 # between the study and getting the machine. The pressure was too high.

After my visit this past fall, my machine was switched from a c-pap to an auto-pap. Same machine different type of setting. The pressure that was set at 13 and waking me up was now going to adjust to my breathing patterns. Now the pressure setting varies. The few times that I do wake up in the night, the pressure is never more than 10.  My sleep quality has improved.

While my sleep quality has improved, my sleep habits haven't. I still try to stay up too late and then get up  early. Add to that any stress and that is a recipe for illness. My body is fighting back from it's abuse by getting me get sick. 

To recover, I need sleep. What have I not been getting enough of this past week is sleep. So I am having a hard time getting over the crud I had right after Thanksgiving.  Now with Christmas fast approaching, I don't see me getting a whole lot more rest. But I need to find a way to get everything done and still get my needed rest. 

Not sure how yet.

Day 12 Post 9 - Being Part of a Unit

I video chatted with my daughter this evening.  She has been married for 3 years and 4 months. She lives in Alabama now and is just far enough away to not visit without planning it but close enough that a weekend visit is worth the drive. She is expecting her first child in February and I think she is nesting a little bit. That and she probably feels a little like she is missing out on the doings here at home.

We raised our children to understand that when you are part of a social group (ie: family), you have a responsibility to be a contributing member of that group. Every one has to do their part according to their abilities. My children can all cook, mend their clothes, do laundry and so much more. This has stood them in good stead when it comes to employment and being adults in Society. It also helped them to bond with each other.

Canning, butchering and any sort of food storage preparation has always been a family project. Everyone contributes and every one shares in the end product.  Last June, we spent a weekend canning tomatoes. Six adults and 3 children put up quite a bit of salsa, sauce, chili sauce and just plain tomatoes. It was divided among the 3 households. This week, we have been cutting up the 5 deer my husband and son brought home from Louisiana. All of the meat and sausage and jerky will be spread out to the family near by.

Since my daughter and her husband couldn't bee here for the butchering, My daughter is mixing up Christmas Cookie dough. We will spend the weekend baking it. This is a way that she can help take some of the burden off us and still contribute to the Unit. 

You ever have a moment when you realize you did something right. I am pretty proud of how we raised our kids. They are all good people. Not perfect but good. It gives me great satisfaction to see them using the skills we taught them in their own homes. I am so glad that we taught them to be a part of a Unit.

Day 12 Post 8 - Starting Again

 My husband is out of town for work. So the temptation to sleep in has been lessened. I was able to get myself out of bed at 5:30 am.  I got up packed lunches and made breakfast. I got myself ready for work and ate. Usually I would stitch or craft in some way. But I need to reorganize my studio and get things in order. So I decided to write.

Human beings are creatures of habit. We have routines that we follow to accomplish our daily tasks. But even in the best of circumstances,those routines sometimes get thrown off. That can cause all sorts of havoc. We forget to do things or just feel out of sorts.  Isn't it strange how doing something out of our normal routine will set things askew?  If I do something out of my general order of things, I forget something. I've left the house without putting in my teeth or putting on my glasses. Simply because I got dressed before I packed lunches. It doesn't take much to throw off a routine.

This is why it is so easy to get thrown off track with new goals. We get side tracked by urgent needs or conflicts and then the goal falls to the wayside. It can happen even after it becomes a habit. But it will definitely happen if it hasn't become a habit yet. 

I was 22 when I first heard that it takes 21 days to form a habit. But I have since learned that in order to firmly establish that habit, it takes a full 90 days.  This is called the 21/90 rule.  I think that the 21 days is us just getting used to doing the new habit. I think the 90 days is to make the new habit a part of our routine. 

So far I have not been able to post everyday. Life sometimes throws us curve balls, and our swing doesn't connect with the ball. That has been my problem this month. I am hoping that by getting back into my morning routine, I will find the time to blog each day. I would like to make up the 4 missing blogs but the real goal is to get in the habit of blogging each day. So that is where my focus will be.

Day 11 Post 7 - Daily Routines Shot.

Well, my lofty goal of blogging for 31 days has fallen apart. Mostly because my routines has fallen by the wayside.  It has been a very hectic and stressful week. Work is in a management transition.  That makes for stress all over the place. The transition is bringing to light issues that need dealt with. Trying to mitigate issues means lots of training and extra hours and testing. It has been a week of very long hours at work.  

Add to that my husband and son brought home 5 deer this past week. All of which need processed right away. So every evening we have been processing the deer, making the days even longer.  Add to this I am still not recovered from the upper respiratory infection and bronchitis I came down with after Thanksgiving. It has been a rough week.

So I am exhausted and well out of my routine. Which made it rather hard to start a new habit, let alone keep up the ones I did start. But I am going to persevere in the challenge and try to keep it going.  

The point is to keep trying. So I am going to keep trying.

Day 7 Post 6 - Things Looking Up

 Today was a lot less stressful.  Still lots of corporate managers roaming around but less tension.  People are still waiting for the other foot to fall so to speak.  Change in management makes people nervous.  The old saying "a new broom sweeps clean" is in the back of everyone's mind.  

I am not concerned. I guess I just don't worry about stuff like that. If they feel I needed to be gone, they would probably have done it by now. But I am also very close to retirement age and I have occupational asthma, so it probably wouldn't be too bad of a thing for me to be out of there.

There are a couple of others that feel the same way.  Of course, we don't want to lose our jobs but it isn't the worse thing that could happen.  Options are nice though and I would like to keep mine open. 

Still visiting royalty could go back to headquarters any time now. 

Optimism for the win at least so far.

Day 6 Post 5 - Positive Out look

 Not a reason today. Today was a stress full day at work.  Top managers are at our plant including my boss' boss.  Things are not going smoothly and all the plant managers are walking on egg shells.  The tension was palatable.  Not a pleasant day at work.

I refused to borrow trouble. I am choosing to be optimistic. Things will be okay.  Now I just have to find a way to broadcast that positivity to my co-workers. It is so easy to live in fear and dwell on the worse.  I just can't do that and function.  

How do you deal with stress and pessimism?

Day 5 - Post 4 Forming a Habit

 A few weeks ago, I gifted a quilt to a dear lady from church. She is 96 years old and so lovely. I am enjoying getting to know her better. While we were talking she asked me if I had started writing my history. I haven't. I am not a journal keeper. But I am finding that I am wanting to preserve some of my memories. 

My husband has told me that I need to write our history. This is because he is Hypo-thyroid and was diagnosed 28 years ago. By the time he was diagnosed his thyroid had atrophied. Part of the result of this whole condition is my husband's memories are swiss cheese. He is afraid that the kids and grandkids won't know our story. 

So part of doing this challenge is trying to form the habit of writing/recording things every night. I think that I need to get in the habit of blogging before I attempt that particular adventure.

Have you recorded your story? Do you keep a journal? How did you form the habit?

Day 4 - Post 3 Over Scheduled

 Yesterday turned into a very long day.  I needed to go into work to pull samples for a project.  The time that I needed to pull the samples kept changing and I ended being up for over 24 hours.  That was a set back for my health. Today, I slept for about 5 hours this morning but still feel worse than I did yesterday. Still I am better than I was this time last week. 

I keep planning on making up the post I missed on December 1st but life seems to get in the way.  That is another reason for doing this blogging challenge. I seem to make plans without taking my crazy busy life into consideration. I think I can do things but forget that I am not as young as I used to be. Add to that health issues that I tend to dismiss, and of course obligations to family and church and I just don't seem to get the things done that I want to get done.  

Some of this is procrastination. Some of this is just being tired. A lot is the simple fact that my husband makes plans and I don't want to miss out on time with him so my plans change. My husband has been working out of town a lot lately and time together is limited. So when he wants to go somewhere and or do something, I drop what I am doing and go with him.  

Add to all of this, I have become a bit of a workaholic. I take pride in being the go to person. But I need to learn to delegate. I am only one person and I can't do everything myself. I have competent employees and I need to learn to use them. Somewhere, somehow I have to get a work-life balance. I just haven't quite figured out how to do that yet.

So Why did I take on a blogging challenge with everything else in my life? By documenting what is going on in my life I can analyze where I am spending time and where I can minimize my time busters. Maybe I can start prioritizing things to adjust my balance. Maybe I can figure out what I really want to do and what I don't really care about. It should at the very least prove an interesting case study.

How do you prioritize? Do you have a work life balance?

Day 3 Post 2 - Reason #1 - Growth

 Yesterday I stated that there were varied reasons for doing this challenge. Since this is a blog about journeying to wellness, I thought I should start with wellness.  You see, I am convinced that being healthy is more than physical health. There is spiritual health, emotional health, financial health, mental health and probably some other areas that I can't think of right now.  But they all play a part of our wellness.  Which is why I decided to resurrect this blog for the 31 day challenge.  (Resurrect is probably not the right term since I have posted a couple of time this year.)

One big reason that I am doing this challenge is to start documenting my struggles. I know that no one really cares about my "first world" problems but someone may some day learn from them. Plus my goal is improvement not solutions. Writing it out will help me think about them, as well as keep me focused on forward progression.

One universal truth is: "if something is not growing, it is dying".  I came across this quote around 16-17 years ago. I was teaching a lesson on dealing with stress and depression.  At that time I was living in Vancouver, Washington.  The weather was constantly rainy and overcast. I tend to struggle a little with depression in gloomy weather. Added to this one stressor, was the fact that I had a teenage son struggling with anger and abandonment issues. Which was resulting in rebellion, stealing, aggression and drugs. On top of that there had been several teen suicides in the area. Which didn't help. I was struggling and I wasn't the only one in that area.

My women's group at church had monthly activities and we were trying to get someone to come in and talk about recognizing the signs of depression. What to look for and when to be concerned.  Unfortunately, the idea was squashed because and I quote "we don't want the women to leave thinking they are depressed"  

So my talk became about finding happiness. But that one quote was how I started it off.  You see we may not get to choose whether our bodies are growing. But every other part of our lives, we can control. So that is the goal. Finding ways to grow. I firmly believe that growth will result in happiness.

How will you choose to grow?

31 Days Blogging Challenge

 There is a quilter/maker named Cheryl Sleboda. She issues a 31 day Blog challenge that takes place in December every year. The idea being to get in the habit of blogging every day or perhaps writing every day. It turns blogging into almost journal writing.  It doesn't have to a long post just a sentence or two.  I think the challenge is to mostly get you in the habit of writing everyday.

I have tried and failed to keep a journal or diary so many times in my life. I am just not disciplined enough to do it. But this year I have been thinking about setting and achieving goals and forming positive habits for positive changes in my life.

So a day late and probably several dollars short, I am embarking on the challenge. The whys are varied and I am going to leave those for subsequent posts.  Have a great day.