Back to Work

We got in late last night. So late that I didn't do my routine. I was up early and struggled to get out the door to work. I did get lots done at work. Mostly because I couldn't go back into the plant so I was working in the training room.

But I did get caught up on everything. I also had our women's support group to run. I got home around 7:30pm. But I am exhausted and I have to be at work at 6:00am. So tonight is a short one.

Last Day with the Grandkids

 Sadly, our trip is coming to an end. We said goodbye to the grandkids tonight. (and their parents too). It was  a very pleasant visit. We got to make some memories. The kids were on their best behavior. We celebrated our Daughter-in-law's birthday early. Two granddaughter's sewed their first skirts. The grandkids played scrabble with Grandpa. It was a good trip. 

I am sorry it is coming to an end. Tomorrow we fly home and return to normal routines. Still it was a great trip.

Sewing Lessons

 Yesterday, Josh suggested I show Kara and the girls how to sew. They have a simple singer sewing machine but haven't really used it. 

We settled on a simple elastic waistband skirt. Today, I sat down with all of them and explained the parts of the machine and how to thread it. We wound a bobbin and everyone got to try stitching with the machine. Kara learned about how to balance tension. Kara is actually looking for a simple project to sew for herself.

I got skirts cut for Mary and Phoebe. Mary got her skirt stitched together. I miscalculated and the skirt is longer than she wanted. So tomorrow I will cut it down and we will get it hemmed. I am hoping to help Phoebe get her skirt made. Rebekah didn't get fabric picked out but is helping her sisters a little bit, so I am hoping she can follow the directions in the pattern to make her own.

After the sewing lessons, we all went up into the wood/mountains and had a weenie roast. It was fun to watch the kids roasting hot dogs for everyone. Grandpa shared the secrets to marshmallow roasting. The kids made sure everyone got perfectly roasted marshmallows.

It was a good day with lots of memories made. This trip is way too short.

Day Two With the Grandkids

Kim and the four younger grandkids

Today was another fun filled day with the grandkids. We are starting to learn just who they are. They are starting to open up and trust us. It is really great to be here with them. We have two more days with them and I think we are not going to want to leave. 

We took them to a quilt show and even the teenage boys were interested once they figured out what it was. It helped that Kim was talking things up to them. Josh also asked questions. The girls showed us the ones they liked. We talked with the featured quilter an learned some.  She asked to see a picture of some of my quilts. She and I talked about processing scraps into usable pieces. Rebekah asked her some questions as well. The boys also asked some questions. It was an experience for them. 

We even dragged them all to a quilt store. The kids saw first hand how their grandfather supports my hobby. They also saw how he picks out as much or more fabric than I do. The boys even commented on it to me.

We did do some fun stuff like, ride bumper cars and play miniature golf.  It was a hoot, even if there were some frustrated feelings. I have been so impressed with how the kids carry themselves. Their parents are doing a great job.

Meeting the Grandkids

It was a fun day with the grandkids. We had only met the oldest 3. And that was like 11 years ago. Rebekah is almost 17 and Nathaniel is almost 16. Jethro just turned 14. Phoebe is 12, Elias is 10 and Mary is 9. They all are rather quiet and we had to probe a little to get to know them. 

We went to the Wyoming State Museum and then the Cheyenne Botanical Garden. It was a busy day of walking and learning. It was pleasant temperature and we were back at their house before the thunderstorm hit. We watched a couple of movies, ate dinner and then called it a night. 

We are still on the eastern time zone and are not quite used to so much fresh air and sunshine. But it was a good day.

A Day of Travel

 We got up at 7:00 eastern time. I quickly finished pacing and we were out the door by 7:45.  Killian, Kim and I stopped for breakfast at Waffle House. Then Killian dropped us at the airport. We were there 3 hours before our flight but that was just fine. Travel went without a hitch and we are nestled in our hotel room. It's now 11:30 eastern time and we both are tired.

One thing that interested me today. While at Waffle House, some people from upper management showed up. The crew greeted them as they walked in and then realized who they were. The was just a second of awkwardness. Then the lead of the upper management started chatting with workers while helping out. And by helping out I mean doing dishes and talking with the workers. There wasn't anymore awkwardness. They were all working as a team.  I made me think a little bit about my interactions with my employees. I need to engage more with them. Something to work on this year.

Feeling a Little Rushed

 I worked today. I went in late but stayed until 5:00pm. I was busy taking care of some special testing. one of the employees asked why I was still there. I pointed out that she failed to get coverage for the tech on Jury duty and i needed to help Tomiko.  I also checked in with my boss before leaving. Then I dropped my car off at a friend's who needs it to take her aunt to the dentist an hour away.  My husband or one of my kids was supposed to pick me up. Killian did but is was after 6:00pm because he worked.  Kim worked from home today and yesterday.  So he was able to get lots of things done to prepare for the trip. I have not prepared anything for it.

So I get home and Kim reminds me that we need to pack. I said that I also need to pay the bills because he got paid yesterday. I went in and folded the laundry which was mostly his.  Then I started on the bills. He proudly announces that he is packed. Yay for him. I still have stuff to do before packing. Plus some of the stuff I need I can't pack until tomorrow anyway. 

He isn't really rushing me but it does feel a little that way. I guess we're both just a little excited to go see the grandkids. the last time we tried to visit them we were snowed out. 

Still no caffeine. Still drinking 80oz of water. Still doing morning and evening routines.  

Getting Ready to Be on Vacation

 On Thursday, Kim and I are flying out west to see our oldest son and his family. Which means I will be out of the office for 4 days.  I need to have things prepped before I go. Today was one of those days that afforded time to do just that. I was able to get lots done. I still have tomorrow after noon to finish things off. 

PT is going pretty well. I am really liking it. I am definitely making strides. I am mostly trying to not go to the bathroom out of habit or opportunity right now. I had realized that was what I was doing the other night. Then again yesterday, I noticed I was doing it again.  I am going to talk with the Dr. Smith about it tomorrow at my next session.

Still no caffeine. Doing better on the starches. Still drinking lots of water.  And still doing my routines. Looking forward to some down time.

Monday, Monday...

Usually Mondays are filled with ups and downs. Most of the time, Mondays are full of set backs. Today, however,  it was not. It was a fairly calm day.  Work came together easily, and I was able to leave work at a reasonable time.

I am still off the caffeine and I am still drinking 80 oz of water daily.  Doing a little better on controlling the starches. But I have a long way to go. I need to buckle down on what I eat.

I am still doing my morning and evening routines. Which honestly is the best thing I can do right now. Controling stress and keeping my spiritual needs met is vital to any and all wellness efforts I make. I don't know why I let myself fall out of the habit.

Still moving forward is the best thing. Taking it one day at a time. And improving day by day.

Pleasant Day

Today is my husband's birthday. He actually made it home for it.  He was supposed to fly in last night but he got stuck in the Atlanta airport all night due to the storms. He made it in at 9:12am this morning. I picked him up at the airport and we came on home. 

We had a pleasant day. Perigrin cooked her dad's birthday dinner. Killian and Kim put a new air conditioner in our room. I went to Bainbridge to pick up the cake.  TaKayren, Jeramie and the kids came over to spend the afternoon and have dinner. Arianna and Tatianna called to wish Kim a happy birthday.

This evening I folded 3 loads of laundry. I cleared more space in the dining room, and I stisched about 3 hexie flowers. Both morning and evening routines were done. Plus 8 days caffeine free and doing fairly well with the PT homework.

All in all another pleasant day.  

A Good Day

 Day 7 of no caffeine. But still tired. Water intake is at least 80oz a day. Still struggling a little, okay a lot, with the sweets cravings. Trying to limit carbonation as well. Doing better with the physical therapy homework. 

I did end up taking a nap today. After my RS activity this morning, I came home talked with Killian a little bit and I realized I was drifting off to sleep. So I decided to go ahead and take a nap. 4 hours later, I finally got up. Feeling more rested but still groggy.  Then Kim's flight has been delayed by at least 4 hours. So the nap was probably a good thing.

The RS activity went well, even if there were only 4 other women there. I had a power point on the whys and what of  72 hour kits. I had an example of a 72 hour kit that I had put together. I unpacked it and showed what I had inside it. I also had a folder for each of them with emergenty preparedness planning guides, FEMA's list of emergency supplies for a kit, and a news release article about kits.  Then we put together basic Hygiene kits to get the ball rolling for them to start getting their own 72 hour kits together.

I felt really good about the whole things. I had been prepared for 12 women but we aren't doing a very good job of informing women in advance of these activities. I left the extra folders for anyone who might want them. I then came home a prepared 4 basic Hygiene kits for our family. We need to start getting out Bug-Out kits together.

So all in all a good day.

Friday At Last.

 It's Friday!!!!! This week has been a hectic and stressful one. The hectic part was way too many doctor appointments. I am begiing to feel a little like a Hypchondriac. I swear my GP would rather send me to a specialist than try something on their own. And all the doctors want follow-up visits to see how all the changes, meds, etc are working. But I am really liking the Pelvic Floor therapy. I have a long way to go but I am seeing how this all works.

The stressful part was work. Drama with a couple of employees has made for a long week. But I believe those situations are going to work themselves out here shortly.

As a result of the Drama I have developed a training program for new techs. I got all the techs' input on it. I sent out the proposed program for review.

Still no Caffeine, 6 days in a row today. Still doing my routines both morning and night. I already feel less stressed. Still craving sweets though. That will come with time I am sure.

Tonight I finished my presentation for the Relief Society Activity tomorrow. It's on 72 hour Kits. I had to pull one together. We've kind of let ours slide. In a pinch, we can just grab the camping chests, a case of MREs  and our medecine bags and we are on our way. Mostly for emergencies, we hunker down at home. We have all we need here unless we have to evacuate.

Should be a good activity. I am feeling good about it.

One More Day

Today went pretty well. Day five of no caffeine and it is going pretty well. Still tired though. I'm sure one I get used to not having the caffeine. I'll have more energy. I did pretty well with food today. Well at least I did until I got home. I need to work on healthy snacks. I do pretty good during the day usually.

At work I got a couple things done. mostly because I couldn't work in the lab. On the bright side, a situation that wasn't looking very good yesterday took a turn for the better. Unfortunately another one took a turn for the worse. But I am begining to think that second situation will be an addtition by subtraction.

Went to therapy today. This week's home work is working on suspressing the urge to pee. Basically retraining myself to hold it longer. I knew that having to pee every hour (or sooner) was rediculous but that is what my body was telling me to do. So normal shoud intervals should be 2-4-hours. So we are starting with retraining my body to control the bladder better. Then when I have control back, start on lengthening the times between bathrooom breaks.

Interesting to note that it's what you eat and drink not how much that causes the frequency of needing to pee. I knew caffeine was a cuplrit. I kinda thought carbonation is probably not great. but I didn't realize acidic food also plays a role. All of them are bladder irritants. So need to look at curbing them a little bit.

Starting on the home work tomorrow. I go back next Wednesday. I am looking forward to making this work.

Another Day In

Day 3 went fairly well. Both morning and evening routines are being done. I managed to drink 96oz of water. I did eat off diet a little bit but I limited my starches. Day 4 of no caffeine and no real headache. 

At work we had conflict training.  Basically having a difficult discussion with subordinates without it escalating.  It was good training and I enjoyed it. Unfortunately I had to use those lessons at the end of the day. It went okay. Sad situation and I really feel for the person.

My doctor's appointment went well, but I don't understand why the GP is trying to manage my diabetes and lipids when I have an endocrinologist doing it. She has me coming back in 6 months. I am thinking I will put it off for a year.  I don't need to be seen by 4 doctors twice a year. The GP and the gynecologist only need to be once a year. The pulmonologist and endocrinologist can me more frequent as they are treating conditions not just monitoring my overall health. Maybe I am being stubborn.

Well it was a long day and I still need to do scripture study and bathe. One more day in and many more to go.

Day Two Down

 I did pretty good today. Did my evening routine last night and my morning routine this morning. Kept my eating mostly in control. Drank lots of water. And I am 3 days caffeine free. So progress. 

Having a little trouble getting motivated to work on the house though. I am tired but I think that is from the caffeine rebound. That and I need the kids to take care of some stuff.  We'll get there.

I saw the endocrinologist today. Everything looks good. I go see my GP tomorrow. Then physical therapy on Thursday. I have 12 weeks of that.  I need to reschedule my gynecologist appointment later this month but then I should be good until my dentist appointment in October.

This wellness stuff is kind of expensive. But I am hoping it is worth it.

So Far So Good

 Today went well. I managed to do my morning routine. and now I am doing my night time routine.  I am heading to bed a little late as I did watch a couple episodes of Eureka. But I it's a start. Plus this is day two of no caffeine. I am drinking my 80oz of water. I ate pretty decently until I got home. But in all fairness I didn't get home until almost 8:00pm. I did a tiny bit of work in the dining room. 

Tomorrow will be busy and I have a doctor's appointment in the afternoon. It is late and I am going to call it a night. 

I'm going to get back on track Day by Day.

New Record - Not a Very Positive One

Well since I started trying to blog for 31 days straight, I have not made a whole month yet. But July is my worse month to date. I managed to post once in July and that was on the first day. 

In all actuality, the last half of June and all of July haven't been terribly healthy months for me. I have not been following my healthy diet and have put 30 pounds back on. I have been stress eating for sure.

I also have not been following my morning and evening routines. No blogging, scripture study, nor reading uplifting books in the evening. No spiritual messages and stitching in the morning before work. I have not been packing healthy lunches. And I have been consuming lots of caffeine. 

I have come to realize that I don't recognize when I am stressed until I start doing the old habits that I used to deal with stress. Eating and drinking all the wrong things, Binge watching sappy movies and shows. Spending lots of time on my phone on social media. Staying up way too late.  I have doing all of these things in big way.

I know if I do my morning and evening routines I am more centered and at peace. Little things don't bother me. People's unacceptable actions (lying, rumor mongering, etc) don't affect me personally. So why did I let these routines go. Because I was tired and frustrated and I fell back on old habits.

Time to do better. One step at a time. One day at a time. I plan to dig out of this funk and get my ZEN back.

Wish me luck?

Day 1 Post 1 - Half Way Through 2023

So I started this year off trying to blog for 31 days straight. The year is half over and I have yet to blog for 31 days straight. I have made 135 blog posts this year in my wellness blog (this blog) and I have made 22 posts in my Quilting Wannabee blog.  Since the year is 365 days long I've blogged a little over a third of the time.  Not too bad for a rank ametuer. 

July is one of the hotter months down here in South Georgia. The gnats are out in full force as are the mosquitos. Down here they have a couple of all natural bug spray. One is No Nats and the other is No Squitos. They are basically made with essential oils. The thing is they really work. I am needing to buy more.

This year I get the first 4 days of July off.  July 1st being on a Saturday, and the 4th being on Tuesday, just made sense to not start up the lines for one day.  So I am getting a 4 day weekend. Plus I am getting to spend it with my grandkids. 

My daughter is fighting the age old struggle of having dogs and cats. FLEAS! They have been good about giving the pets flea treatments. But one cat had kittens and well things got out of hand. The past 3 nights they have been with us while they fog and spray. Hopefully, they will be able to go home soon. I love my grandkids but I am not set up for them right now.  I just didn't have any activities planned.  

We are trying to plan out our Fourth of July activities right now. We want to smoke some ribs and chicken breasts. Hopefully we can find the ribs. We need to take stock of the fireworks as well. My husband is out of town this year so it's not going to be quite the same show. But we will have fun despite missing him.

Chapter 16 of the book is "Ask Yourself the Question, Will This Matter a Year from Now?" This is one I've been doing for a while. It's something I learned growing up in my church. Only we call it having an Eternal perspective. Basically how will this affect my eternal life. It's so easy to just let things go if  you realize the affects are only temporary.  How important is the scratch on you car going to be in a year? Right no I am listening to my grandson getting upset because his brother broke his taco shell. The same taco shell that will break when he bites into it.  How many things are just that silly and we still get upset over them. 

So yes, Ask yourself if it will really matter in a week, a month or a year from now.  In the grand scheme of things how much does it really matter?

 

Day 29 Post 15 - Busy Day / Good Day

 It was a really busy day today. I feel like I really earned my pay today. I did some problem solving. I did some training. I made some decisions. I did some investigation work.  I attended two long meetings. And I did the paperwork. I even was instrumental in correcting some issues that came up. I did my job and I did it well.

While it was a good day, I was busy the whole day and I am beat now.  I figured out why this week has been so stressful. My boss being out of town never was that much of a hardship. Even having both him and one of the supervisors out hasn't been a big deal before.

But this week, we had corporate mandated training. Which took up a great deal of one of my days. We  had a new equipment install. Which called me away from my desk several times each day. And on top of all that we are making the transition from one chemical company to another one. It has been a very full and busy week.

The next chapter in the book is pretty important. Chapter 15 is "Be the First One to Act Loving or Reach Out". Life is too short to hold grudges.The author points out when we hold onto anger we turn small stuff into big stuff. We start to believe that our side was much more important or that we are totally in the right. Then our position/side is more important than our happiness. It boils down to would you rather be right or happy. 

I had two Uncles who had been in business together. there was a falling out and for years they didn't talk to each other. There children didn't know each other because of the falling out. One of my aunts' sons was getting married and he invited both uncles. They both showed up. After years and years, I mean like 40 or 50 years, they decided they could be in the same place. I don't know if they ever truly buried the hatchet but it did allow for the family to have a reunion and the cousins to get to know each other.  

Currently I have an employee who is upset with me. I am continuing to reach out and be supportive. I will at least know that I did my best for her. Even if she doesn't ever come around. I have kept the door to communication and friendship open. And that is definitely a lot less stressful.

After all we can only control our actions. If our actions help us to not have regrets that will help reduce guilt and therefore stress in the long run.

Day 28 Post 14 - Hectic Week

 I am so glad it is Wednesday. I'm not trying to wish my life away, but I am looking forward to the weekend. I need some down time.  Last Friday was the start on a new pay week. I worked 10 hours that day. Monday, I took half a day a still worked 7.5 hours. Tuesday I worked 11.5 hours. And today I worked 9 hours. So in 4 days I worked 38 hours. Tomorrow will be at least 9 hours. That work life balance is wearing very thin.

Now there is a reason for such long days. Friday, I had a special project that had to be done that day. No if's and or buts about it. Then my relief called in, so I couldn't leave any of the work that I couldn't do while working on the project. So I stayed over.  This week my boss and the other supervisor are in Elgin getting training. so we are down 2 on the management team.

On a normal week being down two isn't so bad. I just do it.  This week, however, we have a new install being put in. And we have training. All of which is pulling me away from taking care of things.  I had to leave a lot of work for my supervisor the past two days. Today I was able to get everything done though. 

Tomorrow I have a lot to do. Fiscal year ends tomorrow. I have to put together all of the new spread sheets and I only really have a couple of day to do it.  I will start with the ones we use everyday. Then I will build out the rest. Fortunately a lot of it can be just cut and past from one year to the next.  But there are some changes that I need to make, so finding information is easier for my boss and me. 

The next two chapters in the book are about Patience. Chapter 13 is about being more patient. We need to remember that interruptions are usually not intentional. When people around us don't seem to respect boundary's or space it is easy to forget that they may not know or understand the issue.

In Chapter 14 he suggest that we start developing more patience. He suggest that we start with 5 minutes and determine to not let anything bother us for that 5 minutes. Then slowly add to that time. As with anything else practice can strengthen that ability. One thing I know for sure, if you pray for patience, you're going to get plenty of practice at being patient. Be careful of what you wish for.

Day 26 Post 13 - June is Almost Gone

 Here it is the last week of June. I can't believe that the year is almost half over.  This month has been particularly hard to get things done. Mostly because I have been so tired. I am coming home exhausted. Several nights I came home and went to bed. Some of that is my Asthma acting up. The stormy weather tends to irritate my asthma. Making breathing hard work.

But I think a lot of that is because I have been very bad about what I am eating. Way too many carbs and too much sugary stuff. I am craving sweets and I am sure it is due to stress. When I stress eat, I eat carbs and sweets.  Things are better at work so I am hoping that I can get back off the high sugar starchy foods and back to protein, veggies and fruit. Starting tomorrow, salads for lunch.  I've goy yogurt and fruit for breakfast, plus I am planning on making a few crustless quiches or mini quiches. I've got to use up these eggs.

It's late in the day for me and I need to get my scripture study done. This week I will have several late days. First, it is the week when I meet with my techs, second my boss and one of the supervisors are in Chicago for work.  So there is just two of us doing the everyday work of 4. It's okay though, I've done it before. 

Have a good night.

Day 21 Post 12 - Rough week.

 Still not completely recovered. Of course the storms are still happening. Not quite with the intensity of last Wednesday but we are still getting thunder storms. I do enjoy them when the trees are not toppling.

I have been struggling with sleep lately. I have not been sleeping well. Which is unusual when we are having storms. Not sleeping well is leaving me with a slightly upset stomach.  So nothing sounds good to me. I decided to try the honey ginger drink that we got at the asian market a while back. Maybe it will help.

Chapter 12 of the book is titled Let Others Be "Right" Most of the Time.  He starts the chaper of with the question "Do I want to be 'right' - or do I want to be happy" He says that many times the 2 are mutually exclusive. 

This is something to really think about. Does it matter if someone has a differing belief than you?  Does everyone have to agree with you? If they are misinformed is it worth correcting them and possibly embarrasing them? 

Maybe it is just better to let sleeping dogs lie. Who is it going to hurt? 

Don't get me wrong, there are some very real issues that you don't let slide. Racism should not be tolerated. I won't stand by and say nothing when someone is being racist.  Child abuse, Child trafficking, or Child Porn can never be considered "right" These are all things that cannont ever be allowed to slide by on"personal" opinion. 

But I am not going to debate religion with anyone. I am always willing to listen to your beliefs and share my beliefs if you want to know. I don't care if you believe that Tornadoes target trailer parks. I can choose to evacuate and you can stay put. It's all about picking your battles.

There are somethings that just don't affect you and there are somethings that affect everyone. Decide what it worth taking a stand on and let the rest go.

Day 18 Post 11 - Stormy Weather = Asthma Triggers

Well, it has been a few days. Thursday after I had finished my post, the power went off for over 20 hours. We had some severe thunderstorms as well as tornadoes nearby. Wednesday night the winds were in excess of 80 miles per hour where we live. It looks like we only had some minor damage to the trees.  They were looking wind battered.  

We did not need to fire up the generator because we were either sleeping or at work. The fridge and freezers were not opened. And because they were full there was a big enough thermal well to keep everything frozen/cold. But the house was hot and muggy making it hard to sleep. I had gone to bed early due to emotional exhaustion. I became aware of the power outage when my c-pap shut off. At that point I felt like I was being smothered. Apparently claustrophobia doesn't kick in as long as there is air blowing. Not that I am really that claustrophobic.

Storms continue on and off all weekend. Thursday night, Killian and I were just exhausted due to poor sleep the night before. He's still fighting off a cold and my asthma was acting up. At first I was thinking the astma was due to the clean at work. I was working up in my boss' office for the clean but I still have to go out on the floor from time to time during the clean. So I was blaming that. Friday, however, I was just feeling crappy. I remembered that my pulmonologist telling me that storms will affect my asthma. Especially big or severe storms. I think they were affecting Killian's health as well. When I looked at the air quality, mold was high and dust and dander were extreme. I think I figured out why my asthma was acting up. Truth is I am still struggling tonight. And there is a thunderstorm happening.

I spent a lot of the past few days sleeping. But I did get some chores done. And I did finish a quilt. And I was able to research and give a talk in church on the Importance of Fathers. All went well despite health struggles and stormy weather.

How are you doing? Are you having stormy weather? Are you keeping safe?

Day 14 Post 10 - Release and Lessons

 One Miserable tasks has been completed. Am I happy about it, No because someone was hurt (emotionally). It brings me no joy that I had to inflict the pain. I truly want to help this person succeed. I am just hoping they will let me.

Good new on the health front. I am a little anemic but that is nothing new. So far the tests are showing nothing significant that would cause rheumatological issue.  There are still a few tests we are waiting on. I suspect my achiness is more due to tendons and muscles than anything else. That and Stress of course.

Chapter 11 in the book is interesting. The title is Imagine that Everyone Is Enlightened, Except You.  You are suppose to imagine that everyone you meet or encounter is enlightened and you aren't. You are suppose to look at what they are trying to teach you. Basically every encounter we have can be a lesson. He suggests that the obnoxious driver or disrespectful teenager are there to teach you patience.

I had a similar experience. I moved to a new branch of my church, There was a special needs woman in the branch who could be rather unpleasant. My first thought when I encountered this woman was "I am going to have to learn to love you" I learned many lessons from her. To be more patient, to be more charitable, and surprisingly to set boundaries. I also learned to love her.

From her I learned that sometimes it is better to spend a little time listening, so you can move onto something else. She was socially awkward but very smart. She had a degree in library sciences but was legally blind. She had medical issues as well. She had a tragic upbringing and she was very lonely.

At one point, I was teaching the lessons for the woman's group at church. I found that if I spent time talking with her before the lesson, She was much less demanding of attention during the lesson. My lesson always went better when I took time with her before hand.

I think I am going to try figuring out what I am supposed to learn from the people that irritate or frustrate me.

Day 13 Post 9 - Not a Bad Day & Working on Being Happy Now

Today was a decent day. I had an appointment with the Rheumatologist this morning. When I went to my GP, I commented that I felt like I had a lot of inflammation in my body. I mention that my carpal tunnel had been acting up and my shoulders hurt especially, the one with the rotator tendinopathy. I was wanting a stronger anti-inflammatory. She sent me to a Rheumatologist.

Good news is that my joints all seem to be good. I have good movement and flexibility and I am very strong. He doesn't believe that I have fibromyalgia. He did do some blood work to check for any possible issues. (6 vials worth of tests) I do have arthritis in the joints where my thumbs connect to my hands. I had suspected as much. I go back in 3 weeks and find out the results. In the mean time, he told me to take vitamin B6 for my carpal tunnel and he prescribed Meloxicam for the achy shoulders and hips.

Today's chapter of the book is "Learn to Live in the Present" I honestly believe that we all need to do this. Some of us more than others. The author says we allow past problems and future concerns to dominate out lives. We put off our happiness for some future time that may never come. 

We all do this. We figure that we'll take that trip later when we retire. Do you know how many women out there are saving the "Good China" for that special occasion.  We need to stop. Tomorrow is not promised. 

I never knew my paternal grandfather. He was looking forward to retiring and fishing in his retirement. He died at age 57.  I had a friend Sarah Mansfield, who was looking forward to and had saved for a very long and expensive cruise. They were going to take it  as soon as the kids were old enough to be left home alone. She died suddenly and the money paid for her funeral.  My sister in-law died at age 32 from breast cancer. She had 3 boys (12, 10 & 8 when she died) and a long awaited for little girl. She only had 3 years with her little girl and she was battling cancer for most of those 3 years.

Let's all start enjoying ourselves now. Work will always be there, turn it off when you get home. Burn the fancy candle. Wear that fancy dress. Eat pizza on the good dishes. If you want multicolored hair go for it. Do what makes you happy now. There is not enough happiness in the world. And we all deserve to be happy.

If we stop letting past mistakes and fears of future problems dominate out thoughts, We will find more to be happy about. It also allows us to step back from work and take a day off now and again. Afterall we can't do anything about the past and there is only so much control we have over the future. Sure have savings, prepare for your future, but don't deprive yourself of today's happiness for a few extra dollars in 50 years.

What makes you happy? 

Day 12 Post 8 - Monday Monday

It was a day. Not a bad day. Not a great day. But a decent day. I got everything on my to do list done. But I didn't get the training that I wanted to do done. I may just do this at home. I really want to have it done before I present it to someone else to do.  But my time is limited and I still want to maintain a work life balance. This is something I will need to mull over.

The next chapter is Chapter 9 - Let Others Have the Glory. Another area where I need to work. This is letting others have the spotlight. So if someone shares a story with you, don't interrupt them. Don't interject your story. Yes, you may have a similar experience but that's not the time to share it.

We all do this to some degree. But when we do we take the attention off of the other person and put it on us.  We are stealing their glory. Resist the urge to think of it as bonding. It is hogging the spotlight. I will have to work on this. I tend to share my experiences and think of them as bonding. But I am really diminishing someone else experience.

There are times to share. I think we need to be careful that when we do share our experiences it benefits the other person more than it benefits us.

Letting others shine will help me to not be so competitive. I can be competitive. That may be why I make it about me.

Do you let others have their glory?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

Day 11 Post 7 - Routines Being Sidelined

 While in the Marines, my brother once asked my mother how she coped when my dad was out of town for work for extended stretches. He had heard some military wives complaining about how hard it was when their husbands were deployed. In his memory, Mom just did it. She took care of everything when dad was gone. We did have an awesome capable mother though.

Mom said the hardest part for her was when our dad came home and she had to revert to the routine they had before he was gone. She was used to taking care of everything and doing things her way and in her time. When dad came home she had to hand things back to him and let him do it his way and in his time. Her routines had to be adjusted. I am finding that I need to adjust my routines whenever Kim is home.

I have simple routines that I follow that help with stress and peace of mind. Including blogging and scripture study in the evening. Then listening to conference talks and stitching in the morning. I have no problem keeping these up when Kim is out of town. But when Kim is home, my routines tend to go out the door. 

Part of that is because of the things we are trying to get done when he is here. Projects tend to take precedence over normal activities. Projects such as harvesting the apples and making cider. Or butchering 4 pigs and processing the meat. These are all hands on deck type of projects and often run well into the night. So we are dropping into bed when there is good place to pause in the project.

Part is because Kim apparently needs more sleep than I do. If there is not a project going, bedtime is 9:00pm and no later than 9:30pm. Often I don't start winding down until 10:00pm. But going to bed at different time has never worked very well for us. Also I get up at 5:30am (weekdays) and do my morning routine so I get about 7 hours sleep. Kim wants to sleep until 7:30am , so about 10 hours sleep. Since my morning routine is somewhat noisy and my studio is right by our bedroom, I will interrupt his sleep if I don't find a quiet way to do them. Which really puts a crimp in my routine.

Lastly, part is because I just want to focus on him when he is home. We need to make the most of the time we do have together right now. I'd rather be sitting watching TV with him that being by myself in the studio. When he is home for more than just a couple of days, he spends time out in his shop working stones or out in the yard taking care of his orchard. So if he is busy focused on his hobbies, I don't feel so bad focusing on mine. 

Don't get me wrong, Kim encourages my hobbies.(I should probably say that he enables my addictions to crafts) He doesn't ever try to pull me away from them or make me feel guilty about spending time (or money) on them. This is a choice I am making because I want to be with him. I want him to get the rest he needs. And I want him to be at peace in his own home. Afterall Home should be a refuge from the world.

I realize that Kim will not be traveling forever and at some point I need to figure out how to do these routines when he is home. But as of yet I haven't figured that out. Still, for my continued peace and happiness these routines are important, so I need to find a way to keep them up when he is home. 

Do your routines ever get sidelined for the greater good? (Family Peace and Harmony)

Day 8 Post 6 - A Set Back

 Today started out poorly. Our trainee walked off the job today.  I got the call at 7:00am. I was on the phone and dealing with crap and the fall out of the situation while driving to work.  After a bunch of discussions, HR getting ahold of her and a small investigation. It turns out she had been lying to us about things and it was about to fall apart. We are better off without her.

I feel for her trainer though.  The trainee tried to make it about the trainer being rude and insulting. This trainer would never purposefully hurt someone's feelings. I'll take the word of the person I've known for 8 years over someone who I've known for 2 weeks. Especially when I found out she had already lied to me.

Chapter 8  from the book is a good one. It's titled Do Something Nice for Someone Else - and Don't Tell Anyone About It.  First, I know for a fact that doing things for others is a great mood booster. Second, it creates positive energy in both your lives. 

The trick here is not telling anyone. When we do good things we tend to share with others what we've done.  We are unconsciously seeking approval. That doesn't make us bad.  It could actually inspire others to do the same. 

But there is something very magical about no one knowing.  When I was in High School, one of the clubs would sell flowers before big holidays. They would deliver them to the recipient's homeroom at the start of the day. I had a friend who sent a mentally challenge girl flowers anonymously. He heard her say that she loved the flowers every one got. That it really made her happy to see the other girls smiling all day with their flowers. He decided then and there she should get to smile all day (she usually did smile all day) I helped him pick out the flowers and everyone thought he was getting them for me. (we were just friends). The girl was in my homeroom. She beamed all day. She couldn't believe they were for her. Other people kept commenting on how lucky she was. For once she was the belle of the ball. I did receive flowers from another friend which helped with the secrecy. Without knowing who or why the flowers were sent, there was no second guessing about the motive. There was no opportunity for someone to turn it into a cruel joke. No chance for her to be teased. 

To this day I remember him trying not tell me what he was doing and still getting my help. It was kind of awkward. I am so happy I kept his secret. Plus for the next 2 years this girl got flowers everytime they were sold. Always anonymously, because everyone saw how happy it made her. Everytime she was just as surprised as the first time. 

Keeping nice acts a secret definitely has a way of causing them to multiply. At least that is my experience. On the less generous side, if you keep it to yourself, others won't assume you are going to keep doing it. that opens opportunities for others to get the same blessings.

Why don't you try it this week? I'd love to hear how it goes.

Day 7 Post 5 - One Unpleasant Task Done.

Today was spent taking care of an unpleasant task.  One that I had not actually ever had to do before. This was a new experience and one I would like to never have to do again.  

I am emotionally drained and just want to sleep. Well, sleep and eat. Stress eating is something I am struggling with.

Speaking of things I am struggling with. Chapter 7 is about not interrupting others and/or finishing their sentences. I have a tendency to do this. Not because I want to interject my thoughts but because I understand what they are saying/going through and I feel like I am connecting with them.

We have been going through a lot of communications training at work and one of the biggest rules is to not interrupt people. When I do this, I am forgetting the most important thing about communicating. listening to the speaker.  We validate others when we hear what they are saying and give them a chance to say it. 

Lately I am trying to do better with listening and really hearing. I still get excited to connect but I am learning to wait until the other speaker finishes.

Do you tend to interrupt others? Do you finish their sentences? 

Day 6 Post 4 - Drudgery Continues

 Okay, I should define drudgery. I call anything I don't want to do or am dreading doing drudgery. It is stuff that needs done but is not fun to do and no one ever wants to do it.  There are tasks at work right now that fall into this category.  Some of which are on a deadline. Tomorrow I will put aside paperwork to make one of these tasks a priority.

Today, I had 4 meetings. Four meetings in an 8 hour day. That's half of my work day. The first meeting is a weekly meeting that always goes well. There's never a lot of pressure, more of a here is where we are and this is the next step, type of meeting.  The second meeting was about the drudgery task I have to prioritize. Not really an unpleasant meeting, just about an unpleasant topic. The next meeting was about how HR can support us. Except I already keep them really close at hand these days. Not a very useful meeting. The last meeting was a corporate quality team meeting. Always good to connect and get new information.  Still it was a busy day with a lot of stuff going on. 

I am just happy to be home. But I am not in the frame of mind to work the binding of my quilt.I am a little too sore in the shoulders to wrangle the quilt through the sewing machine. Hopefully a hot soak and a good night's sleep will loosen things up.

Chapter 6 of the book is especially pertinent to me. It's title is "Remind Yourself That When You Die, Your Inbox Won't Be Empty." I need to start being better at delegating. I should be walking out the door at 4:00pm not 5:00 or 6:00pm. I am paid for 40 hours of work and I am only cheating myself when I am working in excess of 50.  Work will be there the next day.  If things delay a project up to the deadline then I need to adjust the deadline not my hours.  I also need to trust my employees to do their job.

I have to admit I am a work-a-holic. But I am going to try and do better. I need to have time with my family. I need to have time to read the books I want to read. I need to have time to create. All of these things make me a better more stable person. So I need to start shutting my computer off a 3:45pm.  I need to put myself on a schedule and stick to it.

How full is you inbox. Have you learned to leave things for the next day?

Day 5 Post 3 - Rough Monday

I was not looking forward to a meeting today because it was going to be an unpleasant topic.  But I was not expecting things to go haywire right at the start of the day.  It has been a stressful day.  One that I am glad is in the books. I suggested to my boss that we have a better day tomorrow. He smiled and reminded me of the meetings we were going to have. I told him not to discourage me.  He's in a good mood because he is going on vacation next week.

I am going to get myself back in a good mood. Just not sure how yet.  I do know that the stress eating is helping.

On to the next chapter in Don't Sweat the Small Stuff  Chapter 5 is about Developing your compassion. He define compassion as a sympathetic feeling.  Compassion requires a willingness to put yourself in someone else's shoes. When we see other people's pain, frustrations, and struggles, we start to see that we don't really have it so bad.

My mom was a very compassionate person. I swear she never met someone that she couldn't find somel.............../thing good about. She had an innate ability to accept people as they were and where they came from. It is something I need to work on. I am getting better at it though.

If I am being honest, I think I am getting better at it because I am studying more about Christ and his life and example. It just makes you want to do better.

I think compassion is a very important step to realizing just how good you have it. I read somewhere that if everyone's trails, struggles and problems were thrown in a heap. We would take bake our own.  I think it helps me to remember that my trials and struggles were chosen for me by Heavenly Father. They are meant to make me a better person. 

So chapter 5 is a good one to work on.

Day 4 Post 2 - Busy Weekend

 Well, I didn't make it very far into June before missing a couple days of posts. But I had two of my married daughters and their families over this weekend. It was a busy time. We had a lot of fun and there was some good cousin bonding as well as some good grandparent/grandchild bonding.

But I have figured out that these really busy weekends take too much out of me. The noise in the house is tiresome, and they just weren't that loud.  I think the fact that I just came off of 3 very hectic and stressful weeks at work is a big part of the problem.  When you start out tired, it's hard to keep up with 5 little kids especially when one is not quite 4 months old.

I didn't get everything accomplished that I wanted too but Rorie (8) did do a little hand sewing.  Dorian (3) did get to sit with grandma while she worked in the studio. Emerson (6) got to be one of the guys. Athena (1) got to play with babies. (animals and her cousin). Wren (almost 4 months) was so very even tempered and pleasant even when all of her cousins were crowding her.

The boys went out and harvested berries this morning so Grandma made blueberry pancakes for breakfast. We had a fish fry for dinner form the fish they caught yesterday. Rorie and Emerson husked corn for the fish fry.  Everyone had a good time.

Busy weekend but so worth it. Now to just recover by going back to work.

Day 1 Post 1 - June Already

 It's June! A new month means a new attempt at 31 days of blogging or since it is June 30 days. I am struggling with how fast this year is racing by. I am way behind on projects and it is showing. Luckily, my husband keep things on track when he's home. Too bad he's only home on the weekends and not even every weekend.

Today went pretty well. No major hiccups but no major progress either. I wasn't expecting the one supervisor to come in but she did. So I left after 9 1/2 hours. Got lots to do tomorrow so I need to be hitting it early.

Chapter 4 in the book is an important one. It is "Be Aware of the Snowball Effect of Your Thinking".  He talks about how quickly negative and insecure thinking can spiral out of control. For example, you wake up and remember something you need to do the next day. Then you think about everything you need to do. Then it's how are you going to get it all done? Then you obsess over a deadline. And the next thing you know you are feeling overwhelmed.  Feeling overwhelmed inhibits your ability to get things done.

He says we need to learn to catch ourselves when we start to have those thoughts and stop ourselves.  Try saying to yourself, there I go again or something similar. I think that may be easier said than done.

I tend to do this when there is something I am dreading coming up. For example, I have found that I will dwell on a meeting and think of all the possible negative outcomes. Then I just really don't want to go to that meeting. I even resent having to deal with the whole situation. Usually the meeting is a whole lot better than I thought it would be. Most recently, I had a meeting that I was dreading but I thought about the issue logically and I chose to dwell on the best possible outcome. I went into that meeting with a better frame of mind. The outcome was about as good as it could get even if it wasn't terribly positive.

I think that idea is to curb the negativity in our minds, activities, and lives in general. I have been working on being positive for awhile now. I am reading positive things, watching upbeat shows, doing things that are more productive. It helps to keep me in a positive state of mind. 

But I have also found that I don't want to be around negativity. I tend to avoid those people who seem to ooze negativity. I am sure you know someone who just brings you down. I need to find a way to not distance myself from them but still block out the negativity they bring. Controlling my thoughts is the first step.

How do you keep negativity at bay?

Day 31 Post 25 - Best Laid Plans

 Today did not go smoothly at all.  I had a good morning until I got to work. There was a situation that needed dealt with immediately. Truthfully it should have been dealt with last week but with the audit, and the Survey results, all the meetings on Thursday and then the people being out on vacation, it didn't happen. 

I got the situation taken care of and then started in on the project I needed to get done today.  Leaving the daily paper work from last night for the supervisor. Then there was a whole issue of my supervisors missing mandatory training. One was out on for a death in the family, the other forgot. Then the one that forgot, called in sick 5 minutes after her shift started. I had to drop the project and get the daily paperwork done.

Today felt so very hectic and I am really done with it. I ended up working 10 and 1/2 hours.

Which brings me to Chapter 3: Let Go of the Idea that Gentle, Relaxed People Can't be Superachievers.  The author tells us that the opposite is true. People who are achievers tend to not be frantic and hectic. They tend to be more peaceful and loving. They don't waste a lot of energy being frantic and panicking.

Frantic, fearful people get immobilized when things fall apart.  Today, I could have become that person. Instead I accepted the fact that I was not going to get the project done. My boss will understand, if not then he should have given me more time to do it. I had no control over my supervisors being out. I did have control over how I handled it. I chose to re-prioritize and tackle those priorities.  I did end up working late but that gave me the opportunity to meet with the techs. 

I think having inner peace is really part of not being frantic. I agree that remaining calm and rational will take you farther than frantic fearful actions. 

Do you catch yourself getting frantic when things run into roadblocks or plans go awry?

Day 30 Post 24 - A Much Needed Day Off

 After the crazy long days of the past few weeks, I splurged and took today off.  Today was just for me. I did some EPP, ran an errand, folded the laundry and got a quilt about 3/4 of the way quilted. I also sent some financial information off to a financial advisor. And I worked for about 4 hours on a project for my boss.

So I still need to work on not doing work at home or on my days off. It just doesn't seem to work out that way for me. But I did ignore emails and such for most of the weekend. There were a couple of times I almost set up my computer during the 3 day weekend, but I resisted. So I think I am improving.

Now for the book. Chapter 2 is titled: Make Peace with Imperfection. Basically, we need to not get worked up over less than perfect results. We need to not dwell on what isn't just quite right and focus on what is good. It is easy to notice imperfections in ourselves - such as needing to lose weight, or needing to leave work at work. Maybe it;s a coworker that doesn't do things the way you think they should.

For myself, I am pretty much at peace with my imperfections. Whether it's my weight, or my hobbies, or my house, I can live with things not being perfect. I can even embrace the imperfections.  But when I get things working just so and someone comes along and does it differently, I struggle.

For instance, I like to organize the daily paperwork in a certain way. It makes it easier for me to find the information. I no longer do the paperwork on a daily basis. My supervisors do. But they put it in a different order and it makes it a little more difficult to find. I could make them do it my way but there isn't any real reason to do it my way. I am making peace with the way they do things.

It really does make for a more pleasant life if you aren't trying to make everything perfect. Still do your best, still strive for perfection, but be happy with what you can do and remember it's all just steps on the way to perfection.

Do you accept imperfection or do you struggle with it?

Day 29 Post 23 - Getting Through a Book

 I have been very open about my journey of self discovery. And the steps I am taking to reduce stress, be at peace, and fuel my inner joy.  Part of this journey is educating myself. There are lots of theories out there about how to find peace and happiness. All have worked for somebody at some point. Looking at these theories, lets me see what might or might not work for me.

Currently I am reading Don't Sweat the Small Stuff and It's All Small Stuff. It was written by Dr. Richard Carlson back in 1997. This is supposed to be the ultimate book in learning how to not be stressed. It is taking me forever to get through it. Not because it is a hard read. Quite the contrary, it's too easy. It's 100 chapters but each chapter is only a page and a half to two pages long. It tells you what to do but not how to do it. It's like a little book of mantras that have a synopsis for each one. I am just not engaged with the book.  

Now I am a reader, a compulsive reader at times, so not being engaged in a book is a new experience for me. I am also the type of person who needs to finish a book before starting another one. So I decided to start all over and write about each chapter.  I can find ways to implement the topics or describe experiences I've had that relate to them. Hopefully that will help me finish it and let my silly brain move onto something else.

Chapter 1 - Don't Sweat the Small Stuff. - He says we often let ourselves get worked up over insignificant things. Instead of letting things go, we convince ourselves we are justified in our anger and plan out revenge scenarios in our mind. Things like being cut off by a driver, instead of just letting it go we swear or gesture. Instead we should just let them go have their eventual accident someplace else and get on with our life. 

I admit I have done this. I am trying to get better about it. I have a friend that would handle being cut off by assuming they were rushing to the hospital with a wife in labor, or there was a family emergency and they were needed at home. By giving the perpetrator a valid reason for their actions, she was able to just let it go.  

Waiting in line can get frustrating, especially when people are not being kind to others.  I was waiting in line at the pharmacy and started to get a little frustrated with the woman in front of me, or I should say the cart and kids in line in front of me. The woman was wandering all around looking at or for stuff. Leaving her kids unattended in line. The man behind me was rather critical of the whole situation. At first I was annoyed too, but then I looked at the 4 kids between the ages of 8 and 2. I realized that she was trying to be as efficient as possible in her shopping, after all how long the kids were going to tolerate the boredom was anyone's guess.  The kids were well behaved and the littlest one was smiles and cuteness. As we moved closer to the counter, I suggested the older one tell their mom that it was almost their turn. He called her on his phone and she was there before it was her turn. She thanked me for suggesting he let her know. I was lucky that I rarely had to take all my kids with me shopping and usually when I did, my husband was with us. This was a single mother who was recently widowed. I found this out from her friend who just happened to be shopping too. No wonder she was trying to get things done instead of just waiting there.

We need to learn to not let the small inconveniences of life get to us.  Is it easier said than done? Sometimes. But that is when we need to work on ourselves and not worry about others.

Tomorrow Chapter 2 - Making Peace with Imperfection

Day 27 Post 22 - A Little Bit of Self Reliance

This weekend started off pretty decent. I picked Kim up at the airport last night. Our cider press  had arrived in the afternoon. (a week earlier than we thought it would.)  Kim and Killian spent a little time putting it together while Perigrine and I supervised. We discovered that we didn't have all the parts. WE debated about whether the other box would show up today or not. Then we just sat and talked before calling it a night. 

We slept in this morning. Then Kim and Killian ran some errands. Perigrine and I worked on the house. Fortunately, the rest of the press showed up this morning.  I ran to Bainbridge to pick up Perigrine's cake and came home to a fully assembled cider press.

Kim and the kids picked the apples. Kim estimates that we got about 8-10 bushels worth.  Currently Kim and Killian are pressing cider. We already have more than 5 gallons.  Some will be made into vinegar. Some will be bottled for later use. Some will be shared with friends and neighbors.

Kim says "This is what it is all about. The planting and tending the trees, keeping them watered and pruned, all the hard work paying off."  I have to agree. It is pretty satisfying.  Nothing like a little self reliance to make you feel accomplished.

I hope your weekend is amazing.

Day 25 Post 21 - Good Afternoon

My morning meeting went well. A lot better than I thought it would.  So that was a bit of a relief.  I took care of an unpleasant task that went better than I expected. And I left after 8 hours which was really nice.  I needed to though. I started wheezing this afternoon. I am not sure why but something triggered me and I decided that I needed to get on out of there.

I went and dropped off some pecans for Liz to use in Perigrine's cake and ended up spending a couple of hours just catching up.  I really needed that time with her. We are going to get together for a girls day soon. Just not sure when.

I am still very tired and I guess that is to be expected when you work 106 hours in 11 days.  One more day and I will have 3 days off. Maybe 4 days if I decided to take Tuesday off as well. I am really tempted to take a day before my month gets really busy. I told my boss I would let him know tomorrow if I am going to take it.

We'll see how I feel in the morning. If I am still wiped out, I will take it off for sure. Hopefully I will get to leave early tomorrow and have a good weekend.

Do you have plans for the Memorial Day weekend?

Day 24 Post 20 - Almost There

 The Audit is over and we got our excellent score. We are all breathing a sigh of relief. Now the harder part comes. Dealing with the VP of Human Resources.

To be fair, she is here to explain the Talent Keeper Scores. But these scores are the results of surveying our employees to gauge their overall satisfaction with their employment, and in particular their satisfaction with their bosses.  We are to take the feed back and improve working conditions in the plant. A great idea in theory. Putting it into practice is a little harder. But I believe, we are improving in our department. So hopefully the meeting my boss and I have with her in the morning won't be too bad. I have a feeling it is not going to be all bonbons and roses though. 

No sense in dwelling on it though. We will know soon enough what is up. 

Still it is Wednesday and I only have 2 days left to work before a 3 day weekend. A much needed 3 day weekend after working 12 days straight. I am tempted to take Tuesday off as well, I will have to think about it.

Right now I am just going to enjoy the good audit score.  And take pride in our team for everything they accomplished in the past few weeks.

Enjoy your Hump Day

Day 23 Post 19 - Good Start

 Today went well. We are about 1/2 way through the audit and don't have any findings yet.  Getting up at 4:00am was rough and I am paying for it tonight. But I should sleep well. Some of the stress is off as my part went pretty well. Tomorrow it is more facilities and employee interviews than anything else. Hopefully those all go well.

I need this week to be over with so I can stop the stress eating.  Pretty sure I am going to have to get really strict with my diet again.  Oh well, Summer is salad season after all.  I should be able to get back to veggies and protein fairly easily. I just need to focus on it. But after this week, not now.

Day 22 Post 18 - Down to the Wire

Tomorrow is the big audit. Things are coming together. I will need to be at work at 7:00am to do a walk through. Auditor should be there at 8:00am. Fingers crossed that it goes well and we pass with a high score.

I find that I have been stress eating. Meaning I have been craving and eating starches and sugars. I need to stop doing that but it isn't going to happen this week. I am hoping to get back on track next week.  

I also have not been drinking enough water. I need to drop the diet soda and drink more water. But I have been wanting the caffeine. The long hours of the past 2 weeks and working the weekend has taken a toll on me. I am going to try and get to bed early since I will be getting up an hour earlier.

So now it's time for me to do my de-stressing routine so I can sleep.  Have a good night.

Day 21 Post 17 - Time to De-Stress

Well, Today went pretty well. I was one of only 4 managers present at work today. I worked about 7 hours and then left. I got done what I needed to do. I still have some stuff that I need to work on tomorrow but with the cleaning of the PB roaster, I was working up front. Which was limiting what I could get done. But I have all day tomorrow to take care of things.

I took my husband to the airport this morning so it was an early morning for me. I was so tired when I got home. But about the time I was trying to take a nap, work was calling. Stress is so high over the audit and tempers are short and irritability is high. I just need people to take a step back and think before they react.

I really hate playing peacemaker between two people who are assuming the worse of the other.  I am sure it's just a little bit of stress and overreaction and a lot of frustration. Plus a little bit of forgetting the new policy. I will be smoothing things over between the two of them tomorrow.

Now I just want to chill and unwind before then next round of stress. The next five days could be pretty brutal. Hopefully not, but they will definitely be long. So I need to prepare breakfast and lunches the night before. I will also need to make sure I am doing my routines to keep the stress down.

It's going to be a fun week one way or another. For now I am going to run a hot bath and soak for a while. I am also going to do a little hand stitching to relax. 

Hope your week goes well.

Day 20 Post 16 - Saturday Work

Today was not as bad as I was anticipating. I worked 7 hours today. I was able to get all my spreadsheets updated and ready for the audit. Tomorrow I will sort out and organize some papers and I should be good to go. I'll need to do some swabs and some other administrative tasks but It shouldn't be too bad.

I am still sorry that I didn't get to spend the day with my husband and grandkids. But sometimes the job just needs to take precedence. The trick is to recognize when it needs to and when it doesn't. Then to keep it all in balance.

Day 19 Post 15 - Perspective

 So I am sort of, kind of, reading the book Don't Sweat the Small Stuff. It's what I am currently picking up to read when I'm not totally exhausted at bedtime.  I'm about 1/3 to 1/2 way through it. Basically each very small chapter is a thought or motto or mantra.  Nothing too eye opening, but it's a good reminder.  Today, I was thinking about all I have to do and some unpleasant tasks that need taken care of at work, when the title caught my eye. The subtitle was an especailly good reminder as well. it states And It's All Small Stuff.

 It is so easy to get caught up in: "the things are going wrong," "I have so much needs to be done," and "I can't catch a break," modes of life. When we get in this self defeating cycle, we lose perspective. We forget all the good things that are happening to us.

It's been a long stressful week and next week will be just as long and stressful. But I have a job that I like. I have a boss that I like. I really like my employees. So yes, there is stress but I get to deal with it with a great team of coworkers. And yes I am tired but I'm not sick and I am not going hungry and all my bills are paid.

On top of all that I have been able to recognize the Lord's hand in several things lately. So Yes, I am not getting the time I want to do the things I want to do right now. But I am blessed and I am loved and I am cared for.

It's all about perspecitive and keeping your mind in the right place.

Day 18 Post 14 - Audit Prep

 It has been a very long week. And it's not going to be over tomorrow.  I have to work the whole weekend.  They have asked the managers to work the weekend since They are asking the hourly workers to work it. It is a good idea. I will help to show the workers that we aren't asking them to do anything we won't do. 

It's just that I have put in 53 hours on this pay week, which is Friday through Thursday.  I took half a day last week and still had 43 hours. But alas, I am salaried and the number of hours doesn't mean extra money.  I'd take a day or two off after the audit but the VP of HR is going to be there and wants to meet with my boss and me. So, it's going to be a very long couple of weeks.

I probably need to work it it anyway. I have a lot of records to get straighten out. I thought the supervisors were putting things in binders but they were just stacking them in the cupboard.  I hate to go to the effort of putting them in binders now. We will need to take them out and put them in boxes for  storage in about 6 weeks. So I'll probably just start packing them away in a storage box. But in an organized way so I can access them easily during the audit.

I got home at 7:00pm tonight. I left the house at 6:30am this morning. I am beat and I think I will do my scripture study and then stitch a little bit before bed. Probably take a hot bath as well. That is the best way I know to relax.

Have a good night.

Day 16 Post 13 - Too Much To Do

This is going to be a long week actually it's going to be a couple of longs weeks at work. I have lots of things that I need to get pulled together for the Audit at work next week. On supervisor is on vacation this week and the other will be on vacation next week. Then there ia all the things we need to get done at the house. 

Killian is sick and struggling to just get up and go to work. Perigrine is going to sit with another elderly lady while her family goes to the temple this weekend. I will be working 9-11 hours each day. 

There is not enough time to do the things I need to do and also do my spiritual/emotional routines. I can't let the routines go though. I will be in a worse place if I do. So my sleep is being compromised. That is never a good idea.  

I need to take some time off to just work on the house and also do some quilting. But I hate to use vacation time to do every day things. Or at least what should be everyday things.

All of this is evidence that I still have a long way to go before I reach a work/life balance.

How about you?

Day 14 Post 12 - Fun Day Yesterday.

Yesterday was a good day. Killian got up and took 3 goats to the sale. Perigrine and I got up and finished prepping for the Relief Society activity. Killian ran the errands that he wanted to get done while we were at the activity.

The activity went really well there were 10 of us there. Everyone seemed to have a good time. Lots of Shower Fizzies were made. Someone even asked if we could do it again closer to Christmas. I am calling it a success. 

Our RS president thinks we should cut back these activities back to once a quarter or at the most every other month. She feels that we will get better attendance if we don't try do it every month.  That just seems counter intuitive to me. We are a small congregation. We have our regulars, who always come. The other some when they don't have things happening.  I know that doing activities on a Saturday is not always the best time, especially for the younger women with kids. But I am not in a position to do these activities on weeknights. Plus a lot of our older women would just as soon not drive at night. I still think the way to get attendance up is to have it routinely every month and the same day every month if possible. But she has the calling and I have to support her decision.

After the Activity, Perigrine and I unloaded the car grabbed Killian and drove to Adel for the Day Lily Festival. It's not a huge festival but it was fun. We had Tamales and fried Oreos. We also bought a lot of freeze dried candy and snacks at the festival.  

I told the kids that more and more I think we need a freeze dryer. Killian corrected me and said we don't need it but we would have a use for it.  Reminding me that Needs, Wants, and Uses are 3 different things. Still in my mind I am debating using my annual bonus (if i get one) to buy a freeze drier instead of paying off debt. I am sure the sensible me will win out and I'll pay down debt. Still I want one.

We were all worn out after our adventure and had a lazy evening. It was a good end to a long stressful week. Today will be busy as well but that's okay. Tired from doing something else is not a bad thing.

The next 2 week are going to be hectic and long as well. I really need to get back on my schedule but that is not going to happen for at least 3 weeks. But I am going to keep up my stress reducing activities, eat healthy, and try to get enough sleep. And on the weekends do things we enjoy.

How was your Saturday?

Day 13 Post 11 - Rough End of the Week

 Yesterday was horrendous at work. Lots of tension and contention. It was not pleasant. Our church leaders constantly remind us the contention is a tool of the devil and I can't say enough how true that is.  I also was walking all day long. So I was beat by the time I got home at 8:00pm. Long day, lots of responsibilities, and lots of movement left me tired and sore. Oh and the stupid compression socks would not stay up all day, so the were absolutely no help at all.

The worse part of yesterday, I forgot it was Perigrine's birthday. When I got home Killian commented that we were making Perigrine work on her Birthday. I felt terrible. The whole day I was operating on it being the eleventh not the twelfth. I sent a list of things I wanted Perigrine to do for me to prepare for our activity this morning. She didn't get a birthday dinner or a birthday cake. Killian and I will have to make it up to her today.

Killian used his pulse massager on my feet and legs last night. It definitely helped. Perigrine turned the sweet roll dough, I was going to use to make apple dumplings into Heath sweet rolls. Perigrine also made up a bunch of shower steamers / bath fizzies for examples. I hope we get a decent turn out for her sake but I am not sure that is going to happen. I did not get the word out like I should have.

After the activity we may go to the goat sale or we may find something else to do. 

What are your plans for the weekend?

Day 11 Post 10 - Stressful Afternoon

 When you're a manager, you sometimes have to have difficult conversations. Today was on such day. I hate confrontation. I also hate hurting people. This particular person lashed out at me and at the HR rep in attendance. Ancient history was brought up. It was just exhausting. But it is over now. 

I still have to write up the discussion but I will do that tomorrow.

Tonight I am going to relax and enjoy my evening.

Hope you have a good night.

Day 10 Post 9 - Hump Day

 I don't know why today was so exhausting. I worked in the training room because they were cleaning the peanut butter line. But I did have to go back to the lab for things and to communicate with the tech on duty. I made one trip too many and had to use my inhaler. But I am feeling better now.

Tomorrow is the wellness fair. They want me to man the ERG booth. Since they will still be cleaning the peanut butter line, I think I will just take my laptop to the table and work there. I'm not sure how many people are going to be there. only half the plant is scheduled to work. They are holding this fair outside. I think I better plug in my laptop tonight to make sure it is charged all the way up.  I will need to make sure I have plenty of water as well.

Stopped off on the way home and picked up the new prescription. It is suppose to help with bladder control. I hope it works. I also picked up the compression socks the doctor suggested. I only got 2 pair today. I want to look around a little bit before buying more. Then I fueled up. Killian called me at 6:30 to see if I was alright.  I hadn't planned on a long day and then going to the store. But I was just about on my way home when he called.

I got home to a Pineapple Mango smoothie. It sure is hitting the spot. My kids spoil me. Today I am just glad to be home. Looking forward to a hot bath and a good night's sleep.

How was you Hump Day?

Day 9 Post 8 - Dr Appointment

Today was my doctor's appointment. It went well. Issues I was concerned with are being address. Of course, it means referrals.  A rheumatologist for achy joints and possible inflammation. A gynecologists for hormones for libido, energy, and bladder control issues. 

She did not try to say the issue was my weight. She did however brought up age a lot.  I do realize that aging, and lack of estrogen are a big part of the issues I am having.  So I was more willing to hear what she is saying this time around. Not that I wasn't willing to hear what she was saying last time, but the weight loss did not solve the issues I was having and  I knew they wouldn't.

But I am feeling more empowered this time around.

When was the last time you went in for a check-up?

Day 8 Post 7 - Exhausted

It was a rather lazy weekend. Despite the sore legs from cramps Friday night, the weekend was fairly restful. But that all went to heck last night. I had to take Kim to the airport this morning so it was going to be a 2:30am wake up alarm.  Try as we might, getting to bed early doesn't equal going to sleep early. We fell asleep sometime after 10:00pm. 4 hours sleep isn't so bad but unfortunately I got a work phone all at 12:30am. Then I had heartburn and couldn't get back to sleep for a while. I got maybe 3 hours of interrupted sleep. 

I planned on working 8 hours and leaving. I worked 11 hours. Crap was hitting the fan all day. I was in the middle of it, trying to work the problems. By the time I left I had not had enough caffeine and the drive home was a little drowsy. Thankfully my friend called and talked to me the last part of the way.  But when I parked, I drifted off to sleep for a bit. I was dreaming that I was talking to my husband when the logical side of my brain said "Hey, you're still in the car. Get up and go get into bed." I listened to it.

I know that a regular sleep schedule is important to my health. I know that as I get older pulling these long days is harder on me than it was 30 years ago. But sometimes you just don't have a choice. I should have left after 8 hours, I never do though. There is always something to take care of.  Here once again, I am putting my job ahead of my health. I need to find away to stop doing that. I need to learn to delegate more. I need to learn to let things sit for a day.

Anyone have tips for doing that?

Day 7 Post 6 - Preparing for the Doctor's Appointment

Saturday was a very lazy day for me. I had no energy after a miserable night of leg cramps. I would no sooner get a cramp to release in one area than I'd get another one in a different spot. I was on the verge of tears several most of the night. I don't know why, but the cramping is getting worse and seems to affect me longer.  My legs hurt all day Saturday. I couldn't stand for long periods and I had to move after sitting for a little while. A few weeks ago, after having particularly strong cramps in my lower legs, it felt like I was walking on a sprained ankle for 3-4 days. I take a potassium supplement as well as a magnesium supplement. So I am not sure what to do next. 

I am going into the doctor on Tuesday and I plan on bringing a list of concerns. The constantly aching in various parts of my body, like my shoulders, and wrists despite wearing my wrist braces. The lack of energy despite losing a bunch of weight. The bladder control issues that only occurs during the day. The lack of a libido.  And of course, the leg cramps. 

Last time I went in for a physical, the PA could only see my weight. Everything prescribed and every test ordered was all tied to weight. I pushed for referrals to an endocrinologist and a cardiologists. The issues have continued despite the weight loss. In fact they seem to be worse. I am going to push for root cause. And the answer is not going to just be lose weight. Because having lost 90 pounds in the last 30 months hasn't solved the issue and in fact it seems to be getting worse

I still have weight to lose and I have been back sliding lately, but so many doctors look and my size and make up their minds that is the whole problem. I am not putting up with that this time around. I am going in with my list and going to demand they look into all possible factors. 

We take for granted that Doctors are well trained and know what they are doing. We forget that they are human and overworked. New advances and developments are coming out everyday and many doctors, especially those in small towns and rural areas, don't always get updated on these things right away. We need to educate ourselves. When we get a diagnosis, we need to learn about it and the possible treatments. When we get a prescription we need to find out about it and what it's side effects my be.

We need to advocate for ourselves. And women especially need to push for answers. Women in general often fail to question "pat" diagnoses. I know two women who were hypothyroid and their symptoms were put down to menopause. Fortunately, they didn't stop looking for answers and finally got the right diagnosis and treatment for their condition.

Are you looking after your health? Do you push for answers? 

Day 5 Post 5 - TGIF

 My computer wasn't cooperating this morning, so I didn't get to blog before work. The morning started out pretty good but my mind was on some personnel issues at work. 

I got to work and met with a supervisor, we talked about the possible new hires, upcoming cleans, and some issues we are facing in the department. I was overcome with just how easier this meeting went than the one the day before with the other supervisor. There was just a whole different attitude about things. A more upbeat outlook and a more cooperative demeanor. It was just a much better meeting and I know we both walked out of there with an understanding of what needs done and how to get it done. 

I had so much to do today. When the second shift supervisor came in, more than 2 hours early, she was surprised that I was still there. We had discussed her coming in early. I had said that I might leave early as well. I just had so much came up during the day that I wasn't able to leave 2 hours early. As it was I didn't finish all I needed to do. The second shift supervisor made herself scarce until after I left. I think she is upset with me for calling her out on  a couple of things the day before. 

But I did come home an hour early and proceeded to do absolutely nothing until the grandkids arrived for the weenie roast. It was a very pleasant evening. I hated for it to end. But I am tired and my bed is calling me.

I hope your Friday was enjoyable.

Day 4 Post 4 - Social Media or Rabbit Hole

Yesterday went well and I did a decent job of sticking to the no starch diet. Perigrine found some yogurt covered nuts that were technically still within my diet and let me have a little bit of sweet. That helped a little with the cookie cravings.

I am still doing the scripture study and blogging in the morning. It seems to help with maintaining my peace. I didn't do any EPP last night though. My hands have been achy lately despite wearing my braces at night. I have been doing a lot of typing at work so that might be part of it. The weird thing is that they don't hurt all that much until I am basically resting them. Like driving home last night, my left wrist was just throbbing. The other day, I went and laid down because I wasn't feeling well and my wrists throbbed so much that I got up took some Ibuprofen and put icy hot on them. It was weird and I will talk with my doctor about it when I go in next week.

Instead of stitching, what I have been doing is spending too much time on social media. This is a huge time buster. Last night, I was on it for a half hour after everyone had gone to bed. I had been trying to not get sucked down the rabbit hole of Memes and endless negative revenge stories and other peoples "Karen experiences". but I am right back where I was a few months ago. These things do nothing for my peace of mind. I need to start limiting my social media to things that benefit me and not burn up all of my time and emotional energy. Not sure how that looks though.

How do you avoid rabbit holes?

Day 3 Post 3 - One Day at a Time

Two days down without cheating on my diet. I am having to do this one day at a time. But I am doing it.

With Kim home this week, I changed up my routine a little bit. I am blogging and doing my scripture study in the morning. That way I can be with him in the evening. The only problem is I am not doing as much stitching as I would like. I guess I just need to work on EPP in the evenings.

Morning scripture study is working out really well. The house is quieter and I there are less distractions. I may keep this routine. We'll see how things play out.

Speaking of scripture study, I've come to realize one of my biggest downfalls is pride. I am prideful and I seek recognition for what I do. I need to learn to be more humble. Truly Humble. Recognizing that my gifts are from God is not the same as recognizing that my abilities and all I have is because of God. And they can be taken away if I don't use them as I should. 

Just something to think about.

Day 2 Post 2 - Getting Back on Track

Yesterday was a busy day. I played catch up all day.  I was only out 1 day last week. But I probably went back to work to early. I ended up using my inhaler twice yesterday. I think I am in a flare right now, which means the slightest thing will set me off. I'm glad that my asthma is considered moderate to mild. I can't imagine how bad it would be if I had severe asthma.

I went shopping to pick up some healthy food options. I managed to stick to the no starch yesterday. I struggled the whole day. I packed for a no starch day today. Hopefully I stick to it. I am craving sweets though, specifically cookies and brownies. I don't know why cookies and brownies, but that is what I want. Perigrine made some Blondies for me on Saturday. She put salt on the top and they were so good. There is still some left but I didn't touch them. 

I am hoping to increase my water intake as well. I have been bad about that lately. I barely get in 2 quarts, if I even get that. Some days I'm lucky if it's a quart. I drink plenty of other liquid, I just need to go back to water.

What do you struggle with?

Day 1 Post 1 - New Month

 It is the morning of May first. May Day in some parts of the world. Here in south Georgia it is Monday morning and I get to go back to work after being sick all weekend. I am still feeling weak and would rather stay home in bed. But there is lots to do and not enough time to do it. 

I am sitting at my computer trying to convince myself to leave early. I can see the quilt top, that I plan to quilt next, draped over my long arm and I think I could call in and get that quilted today. Finishing the quilt last week has given me some of that "finishing energy" Unfortunately that finishing energy doesn't translate to work energy. At least not "going to work energy."

I am also trying to get back to no starches this week. I have back slid to the tune of 15 pounds since last November. I need to get things back under control. And I need to find a way to work in some exercise.  But between the rain and the pollen walking isn't practical. At least not outside, if I want to breathe that is. I am not buying a membership to the YMCA to just walk their track, especially since their hours don't work with my schedule. I don't have the place to put a treadmill either. So that problem is on the back burner for now.  I do know that both Killian and I felt a lot better that week in the hotel, when we walked on the treadmill each day.

I think this week I may start tackling the locked up 15-91 Singer. Or maybe just get the tension fixed on the one I am using right now. Either way one machine is getting worked on this week. I just don't know which one yet.

And one quilt is getting quilted this week. The cobbler stones and pinwheels quilt is about ready to go on the long arm. So that is very doable.

Now just to find the time, space and energy to do all of that.

What are your plans for the week?

Day 29 Post 18 - Day of Shopping

Today got off to a rough start. At 6:30 am I got a call from work.  An employee didn't show up for work. We couldn't get a hold of them. I am am a little concerned about them. A supervisor had to go in and cover the shift. I am hoping the supervisor got someone to cover tomorrow's shift.

I finally got up and went to town with my husband and son. We spent the day shopping. We went to a pawn shop and looked at some sewing machines. Well, I looked at sewing machines while they looked at guns. Then there was another gun/pawn shop which was disappointing. Then down to the flea market, where we did pick up a sewing machine in a table for $10. Not sure we are going to be able to get it fixed but I think I can put my mother's machine in the table. Then off to another sporting good store.

By the time we got home I was wiped out. I am not recovered from the asthma episode from Thursday. I slept for a little while and then came out and watched tv with my husband. It was basically a Lazy day.

I may regret not getting more done later on. But I am glad I took it easy today.

Day 28 Post 17 - Home Sick

Yesterday was a clean day for one of the production lines at work. This particular production line is right next to my office. With the negative air pressure in the plant the fumes from the chemicals flow right into my office. For most people the fumes are just unpleasant. For me, they are a trigger for an asthma attack. So I always work up front when they clean that line. 

Since I schedule swabs, I know what days they are cleaning that line. Yet I never remember on the day that they are cleaning it until the chemicals come out. Yesterday was particularly bad because I had to gather paperwork before heading up front. So my exposure was longer than usual. I ended up using my inhaler twice at work. By the end of the day, as I was driving home, my lungs felt like they were wind burned. I was supposed to meet with one of my employees but I canceled because I felt so crappy.

I haven't had a reaction that strong for months. But I think it was probably intensified by the stormy weather. That and the kids have had colds so my immune system might be a little compromised.

Any way last night I didn't sleep well at all. Twice I woke up wheezing and coughing. I did my nebulizer and was able to get back to sleep. The episodes were about 3 hours apart so I don't think I over used the albuterol. But I was worn out this morning. I had very little voice and my lungs still feel dried out. Being exhausted from lack of sleep and just not feeling well, I called in sick. 

I spent most of the day in bed. But I did get up and process the scraps left from the quilt I finished yesterday. So the day was not a total waste. Still I hate using vacation time to be home in bed. I'd rather be getting stuff done.

I kind of resent being sick some days. My time off is limited and very valuable to me. I don't want to waste it.  Do you every feel like being sick is a waste of time? 

Day 27 Post 16 - Rainy Day

 Today is kind of a Ho-Hum day. It is gray and rainy and the thunder storms just aren't that awesome.  I struggle is rainy weather. Don't get me wrong I love a majestic thunderstorm. I even enjoy the rain when I can get out in it for a little while. but the grayness is what gets to me.  I am a creature that needs light.

Although I have never been officially diagnosed with Seasonal Affective Disorder, I have had more than one doctor tell me I most likely have it. It all came to a head when we were living in Washington state.  It is always overcast there and I struggled with depression. Not the I'm going to kill myself depression just the sadness and tiredness type of depression. 

Anyway I am so much better off down here in the Sunny South. But when those rare rainy gray days do come, I do notice how it affects my mood. Now that I have asthma, it also affects my breathing. The change in barometric pressure does something to me.  So not the greatest of days but honestly it wasn't bad. At least I got the binding done on my quilt.

How was your day?

Day 26 Post 15 - Good Day/Trying Something New

 Today was a good day. We had a customer audit at work that went well. I was able to leave work at 4:00pm and come straight home. (only a 9 hour day)

Once home I rested for a bit. I was tired. But after I talked on the phone with my husband. I got to work and trimmed up the quilt and got the binding on. I am trying something new with this one. I am going to fully machine bind it. I usually stitch the binding onto the front and then turn it to the back and hand stitch it down. This time I stitched the binding to the back and am turning it to the front. I will stitch it down with a decorative stitch. I even have the machine set up to start on it.

Tomorrow before work I will try to get the binding turned and clipped in place. Then when I get home. I will stitch it down.  I am pretty stoked to get this one done. I am not happy with the quilting job I did, but I have learned a little more about my machine. And since this is a house quilt, trying something new only makes sense.

Have you tried something new lately?