While in the Marines, my brother once asked my mother how she coped when my dad was out of town for work for extended stretches. He had heard some military wives complaining about how hard it was when their husbands were deployed. In his memory, Mom just did it. She took care of everything when dad was gone. We did have an awesome capable mother though.
Mom said the hardest part for her was when our dad came home and she had to revert to the routine they had before he was gone. She was used to taking care of everything and doing things her way and in her time. When dad came home she had to hand things back to him and let him do it his way and in his time. Her routines had to be adjusted. I am finding that I need to adjust my routines whenever Kim is home.
I have simple routines that I follow that help with stress and peace of mind. Including blogging and scripture study in the evening. Then listening to conference talks and stitching in the morning. I have no problem keeping these up when Kim is out of town. But when Kim is home, my routines tend to go out the door.
Part of that is because of the things we are trying to get done when he is here. Projects tend to take precedence over normal activities. Projects such as harvesting the apples and making cider. Or butchering 4 pigs and processing the meat. These are all hands on deck type of projects and often run well into the night. So we are dropping into bed when there is good place to pause in the project.
Part is because Kim apparently needs more sleep than I do. If there is not a project going, bedtime is 9:00pm and no later than 9:30pm. Often I don't start winding down until 10:00pm. But going to bed at different time has never worked very well for us. Also I get up at 5:30am (weekdays) and do my morning routine so I get about 7 hours sleep. Kim wants to sleep until 7:30am , so about 10 hours sleep. Since my morning routine is somewhat noisy and my studio is right by our bedroom, I will interrupt his sleep if I don't find a quiet way to do them. Which really puts a crimp in my routine.
Lastly, part is because I just want to focus on him when he is home. We need to make the most of the time we do have together right now. I'd rather be sitting watching TV with him that being by myself in the studio. When he is home for more than just a couple of days, he spends time out in his shop working stones or out in the yard taking care of his orchard. So if he is busy focused on his hobbies, I don't feel so bad focusing on mine.
Don't get me wrong, Kim encourages my hobbies.(I should probably say that he enables my addictions to crafts) He doesn't ever try to pull me away from them or make me feel guilty about spending time (or money) on them. This is a choice I am making because I want to be with him. I want him to get the rest he needs. And I want him to be at peace in his own home. Afterall Home should be a refuge from the world.
I realize that Kim will not be traveling forever and at some point I need to figure out how to do these routines when he is home. But as of yet I haven't figured that out. Still, for my continued peace and happiness these routines are important, so I need to find a way to keep them up when he is home.
Do your routines ever get sidelined for the greater good? (Family Peace and Harmony)
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